Obsessed with the location of an overweight, jolly elf making a fantastical worldwide journey in a sled with seemingly endless trunk space pulled by a squad of reindeer on magical steroids that help them fly, led by a formerly-ostracized fawn whose nose radiates in some freak evolutionary misstep that functions as aircraft navigation light for said flying sleigh? Well, you’re in luck. The federal government’s national defense complex is on the job, with NORAD tracking Santa’s route worldwide starting at 4 a.m. ET.