To call this “The Best of Trump Moments” is a misnomer: it’s definitely not Trump at his best. (Even his best would be far below average.) More accurately, this is “The Things that Happened to Trump in 2022 that Amused Us or Made Us Cheer and/or Made Trump Mad or Sad.” Better known as The Schadenfreude Special, which is numbered, but not ranked.
12. Manhattan reopens criminal investigation into Trump: Just when you thought it was safe to go back into financial fraud. But when you have 17,492 lawsuits and investigations going on around you, what’s a 17,493rd?
11. Tiffany’s wedding: To paraphrase Young MC, there’s one more girl he won’t be getting.
10. Tax Returns Released: They couldn’t even fill out the form properly.
9. Truth Social’s failure: Hiring Devin Nunes to run a company was the first omen of doom. Trump not posting anything on his account for more than two months after launching his account on the platform showed users how unpopular the service was and continues to be.
8. Trump’s Candidates Crash: Lake, Walker, Oz, Masters, Mastriano, and so on, and so on, and so on. The list of major Trump endorsements is long. Only JD Vance in Ohio won his race in a cycle where Republicans should historically have routed Democrats. But Trump’s handpicked choices led to what Mitch McConnell described as poor “candidate quality.”
7. Dinner with Kanye and Nick Fuentes: Who vets guests at Mar-a-Lago? Heinrich Himmler?
6. New York’s quarter billion dollar lawsuit: Citing fraud, New York Attorney General Letitia James files a civil lawsuit against Donald Trump and his spawn seeking more than $250 million in repayment of ill-gotten gains.
5. Weisselberg conviction: It’s never a good sign when your corporate CFO pleads guilty to 15 fraud and tax evasion charges. But then, when you never fire his ass, maybe you support criminal activity.
4. Trump Org conviction: And thanks to Weisselberg’s guilty plea and subsequent testimony, a New York jury easily found the Trump Org guilty of tax evasion. Too bad there’s not a jail cell we could send the entire company too.
3. The Trump NFT BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.
2. Fulton County investigation: If anything should have Trump currently shitting bricks about possible jail time, it’s the investigation Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis is conducting into his election meddling in Georgia. She will not be stopped.
1. Mar-a-Lago raid: It’s gotta suck when your house gets raided by police. It’s gotta suck worse when they discover a cache of classified documents. And then your lawyers, who certified that Trump had no government documents at Mar-a-Lago, are under investigation and may lose their law licenses.
HONORABLE MENTION to Trump’s legal team’s legal team. It’s hard keeping these lawyers out of jail, it seems.