For all the silly jokes people have been making about lying piece of shit Congressman George Santos claiming he landed on the Moon in 1969 or invented penicillin or won multiple gold medals in the Olympics, nobody we’ve seen has really stepped out and asked “Well, what’s theoretically more realistic for George Santos but just so fucking dark and ugly that nobody would laugh?”
Of course somebody had to be capable of imagining this one. We give that anonymous hero or heroes our props, for their pessimism has been validated: Patch.com reports Santos in 2016 raised $3,000 for veterinary surgery for a disabled veteran’s dog suffering from cancer. Santos stole the money and the dog died in agony. Not much else to add here. It’s one thing to lie about working for Citibank, because whatever fuck them. Ganking some dude’s pricey scarf was scummy shit too, but it’s just a scarf. The guy can buy a new one. But to check this many boxes – disabled veteran, suffering dog, charity scam – in one single article about Santos is… We’ll just end it here.