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BREAKING: JACK SMITH WALKS INTO HIS OFFICE BUILDING

“FLASH! 🚨 NBC NEWS EXCLUSIVE! 🚨 JUSTICE DEPARTMENT TRUMP INVESTIGATION SPECIAL COUNSEL JACK SMITH didn’t answer any questions as he silently walked into his office building in Washington DC on Tuesday morning. It appears Smith was wearing a yellow tie with black stripes on it. Could that have any hidden clues as to when he’ll finally indict the criminal former president? Joining us are former Watergate prosecutor and MSNBC legal analyst Ivan Van Vanderbilt IV, New York Times reporter Marisol Kurosawa-McGoldberg, and NBC Justice Correspondent Mike Hunt to break down the color choice of Smith’s tie and what it means for the investigation…”

…is how we imagine the rest of that segment went after the clip ended. While we’re mocking this appropriately for being “Mueller Time” all over again, the key difference is that Smith really is more likely than not actually going to hit Trump with some major federal charges rather than issue a report that documents 10 instances of possible obstruction of justice, making it easier to have fun with this kind of MSM bullshit. The one actually useful piece of info we can glean from this is that it appears Smith is protected by a security detail, at least two guys looking like they’re ready to seriously fuck up any red-hatted “patriot” who gets within 100 feet of the special counsel. Good to know.

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