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Nigerien general declares landslide victory in coup

General Abdourahmane “Omar” Tchiani on Friday declared a massive, historic victory over stone cold loser President Mohamed Bazoum in the 2023 Niger coup, the BBC reports. It was sad really, how Crooked Bazoum lost complete control over the country during his failed presidency. Niger was basically a third world country before Tchiani took over and already the General is seeing just massive, historic support like you wouldn’t believe. Big Nigerien men, really tough guys, are probably coming up to Tchiani with tears in their eyes to say “Thank you, sir.” Many of them are farmers.

You know, a lot of people don’t know this but Tchiani is from the western region of Tillabéri where many people are into farming. Tchiani loves farming and knows probably more than anybody about it. Even some farmers who have been doing it for years are very surprised when Tchiani tells them he knows that the male goats have horns. You know Crooked Bazoum destroyed Nigerien agriculture. It was so sad, such a disgrace. He gave it away like no one has ever seen before.

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