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New Baskin Robbins “Turkey Day” flavor doesn’t contain any turkey

In the greatest case of autumn-themed mass market processed food false advertising since Pumpkin Spice Oreos didn’t contain any actual pumpkin, national ice cream chain Baskin Robbins revealed in a statement last week that their upcoming new “Turkey Day Fixins” flavor doesn’t contain any actual turkey meat, but “sweet potato, spice, cornbread pieces and swirls of cranberry sauce.”

“We continue to push the boundaries of flavor innovation at Baskin-Robbins and wanted to bring a unique scoop to the table that deliciously encapsulates all the sweet and savory flavors from your favorite Thanksgiving sides,” said some Baskin Robbins suit, Hannah Suits, Director of Brand Marketing in the statement. “Along with the return of our iconic Turkey Cake [which also does not contain any turkey meat], these offerings are a delicious and innovative take on holiday favorites.”

Sure, turkey meat in ice cream would be pretty fucking gross and stupid. And it’s “Turkey Day” flavor like “pumpkin spice” is supposed to be the nutmeg and shit that they mix in with pumpkin guts to make the pie filling. That’s still no excuse for such gross misrepresentations in the food industry.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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