Categories
Uncategorized

Colorado Kohl’s shoplifters try to get felony charges dropped to misdemeanors because there were coupons on the shit they stole

“Michael Green, 50, and Byron Bolden, 37, were formally sentenced this month after being convicted of retail theft at a Kohl’s department store in [Parker, Colorado]. The investigation revealed both Green and Bolden were associated with other Kohl’s thefts, which is why the department store dubbed the pair the ‘KitchenAid Mixer Crew.’ In addition to stealing brand name shoes and clothing, the thefts also included high-end KitchenAid appliances… At trial, defense attorneys suggested to a jury that their clients should only face a lesser misdemeanor charge because some of the items they stole were being offered ‘on sale.’ In Colorado, theft under $2,000 is a misdemeanor offense.”

“Meanwhile, theft between $2,000 and $5,000 is a Class 6 felony. The documented value of the items stolen was $2,094.98. A jury ultimately convicted both men of felony theft” says a Wednesday press release from Colorado 18th Judicial District Attorney John Kellner’s office.

A report from The Denver Gazette tells the story of their “defense” a little better, describing it was more theoretical that the items could have been on sale using various coupons and Kohl’s shopper discounts available… if they had actually paid for the shit. Which they didn’t.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

“You can’t quit, I’m firing you!” Bondi claims she told Minnesota prosecutors who definitely quit in disgust with her malevolence

1 hour ago

Racist grandpa wants more death and suffering because the Blacks

2 hours ago

ICE recruitment vetting AI fuckup almost too stupid to believe

4 hours ago

Ohio woman’s french fry mishap destroys Sunoco station canopy

5 hours ago

Jaydee jumps the shark on his insufferable sophistry act

6 hours ago

Court tosses GOP challenge to California Prop 50

7 hours ago

Regime stashing Venezuelan oil revenue at Qatari bank

7 hours ago

Letitia James forces extremist Zionist group to settle with her office

8 hours ago

Riley Gaines sings praises of Trump’s testosterone levels, then kind of fucks up and admits he’s an abusive misogynist

9 hours ago

Verizon super sorry they just effed you out of cell service

9 hours ago

UAW backs Trump heckler

10 hours ago

Majority say ICE makes American cities less safe: CNN poll

11 hours ago

CBS carries regime’s water a full week later

12 hours ago

“That’s why that lesbian bitch is dead”

12 hours ago

Trump heckler suspended from job at Ford plant

12 hours ago

They keep saying this shit about Ross firing in “self-defense”

12 hours ago

Fossil mayor’s skeleton found

13 hours ago

FBI raids Washington Post reporter’s home

13 hours ago

Minneapolis mayor skates circles around Fox Newsworm

14 hours ago

Certain US personnel advised to evacuate from Qatar base

14 hours ago

Iran preps for mass executions

15 hours ago

Grandpa doing the all caps thing again

16 hours ago

Tony Dorkoupil taken down a notch

1 day ago

Regime demands list of Jews from University of Pennsylvania

1 day ago

Nunchucks guy dead at 59

1 day ago

Pedo 1980s actor turns himself in

1 day ago

Mamdani and Trump are texting bros

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Horrible spray-tan job gives “economic” speech

1 day ago

Third of voters think Renee Good execution justified: QU poll

1 day ago

Regime wanted to prosecute Renee Good’s widow: NYT

1 day ago

Michigan CEO resigns after admitting Renee Good was executed

1 day ago

Jim Jordan wrestles with “foreign fraudsters”: Watch Live

1 day ago

Orange racist mourns cancer-ridden racist

1 day ago

Clintons tell Comer to fuck off on Epstein investigation subpoena

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Chickenheads cluck cluck to Capitol reporters

2 days ago

Trump vows to punish fascist stormtroopers who murder civilians

2 days ago

Minnesota AG says Jonathan Good can hide but he can’t run

2 days ago

South Korea prosecutor seeking death penalty for Yoon

2 days ago

“THE DAY OF RECKONING AND RETRIBUTION IS COMING!”

2 days ago

Life coach lady hypes legislation that will never actually pass

2 days ago

Raskin investigating how many Capitol rioters DHS has hired

2 days ago

Top DOJ officials quit over Jonathan Ross decision

2 days ago

Grand Theft Auto V players push new mission creator to it limits

2 days ago

Surprise! FBI investigating Renee Good, won’t charge ICE agent

2 days ago

Bill Ackman sends $10,000 to hardcore MAGA antisemite’s GoFundMe campaign for ICE agent Jonathan Ross

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Minnesota leaders announce lawsuit against ICE

2 days ago

Liz Warren says Trump called her after she commanded him to

2 days ago

Moldova president supports self-annexing to Romania

2 days ago

Mark Kelly sues Pete Hegseth

2 days ago

“With a little bit of patience”

2 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x