Categories
Uncategorized

Colorado Kohl’s shoplifters try to get felony charges dropped to misdemeanors because there were coupons on the shit they stole

“Michael Green, 50, and Byron Bolden, 37, were formally sentenced this month after being convicted of retail theft at a Kohl’s department store in [Parker, Colorado]. The investigation revealed both Green and Bolden were associated with other Kohl’s thefts, which is why the department store dubbed the pair the ‘KitchenAid Mixer Crew.’ In addition to stealing brand name shoes and clothing, the thefts also included high-end KitchenAid appliances… At trial, defense attorneys suggested to a jury that their clients should only face a lesser misdemeanor charge because some of the items they stole were being offered ‘on sale.’ In Colorado, theft under $2,000 is a misdemeanor offense.”

“Meanwhile, theft between $2,000 and $5,000 is a Class 6 felony. The documented value of the items stolen was $2,094.98. A jury ultimately convicted both men of felony theft” says a Wednesday press release from Colorado 18th Judicial District Attorney John Kellner’s office.

A report from The Denver Gazette tells the story of their “defense” a little better, describing it was more theoretical that the items could have been on sale using various coupons and Kohl’s shopper discounts available… if they had actually paid for the shit. Which they didn’t.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Tropical Storm Arthur to dump up to 20 inches of rain on Texas

7 hours ago

“Pastors for Trump” founder forsaken by his true God

14 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange God Emperor snaps at reporters in France

18 hours ago

Jon “Os(jerk!)off” pretty clever for Trump

20 hours ago

“Incensed by the dissent”

20 hours ago

You can kind of tell why they wanted to hang Mike Pence

1 day ago

Rick Jackson defeats Trump-endorsed scumbag in Georgia gov primary, Trump-endorsed scumbag Collins takes Senate primary

1 day ago

Trump needs Modi to help him climb single step

2 days ago

Regime to allow Iranians to start selling oil immediately

2 days ago

Jaydee x The View kind of sucked for Jaydee

2 days ago

McDonald’s celebrates America250 by reviving fried apple pies

2 days ago

Taxpayers covering at least $300 million of Trump ballroom costs

2 days ago

“Most of that is basically Iranian propaganda”

2 days ago

Muslim Republican leaves Texas GOP convention in tears

2 days ago

“Dumocrats” propagating Trump capitulation

2 days ago

Fanboy says it’s okay to give Iran money because they took a beating

3 days ago

Newsom says he’s under federal grand jury investigation

3 days ago

Strategic Petroleum Reserve at lowest level since 1983

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: National embarrassment in Europe for a day or two

3 days ago

Top Israeli official gives a big fuck no to Trump “peace deal”

3 days ago

Regime to send pallets of cash to Iran: Jaydee

3 days ago

Orange God Emperor laments his impotence

3 days ago

Jaydee and Stephen pushed hard for Insurrection Act: NYT

3 days ago

MAGA Congresswoman claims “voter fraud” in next reconciliation

3 days ago

Norwegian Prince Joffrey sentenced to four years for rapes

3 days ago

Trump “hereby fully authorizes” Strait of Hormuz reopening

3 days ago

White House disputes weather forecast reporting as “bullshit”

4 days ago

Team Orange fear Swan/Haberman have tapes from situation room

4 days ago

Birthday loser whines over his best bud ruining the day

4 days ago

Swiss right wing on track to lose population cap referendum

4 days ago

Hahahahaha! Good one Greg!

4 days ago

Regime has to “certify” Trump removal from JFK center by noon

5 days ago

Senate Republicans “assuming” Trump will spend on Paxton

5 days ago

Texas GOP symbol non-symbolically pisses on convention floor

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Kennedy Center Denazification underway

6 days ago

Judge taps out of blocking White House UFC fight

6 days ago

White House Axios Secretary Barak Ravid gives Trump-Iran update

6 days ago

“Void” is catchier than “expunge”: Luna’s intra-cranial focus group

6 days ago

Dan Sullivan banned from ballot in Alaska

6 days ago

Orange Tyrant screams at Iranians for “leaking” to “fake news”

6 days ago

Randy Fine laments Ammonites’ rejection of the Orange Yahweh

6 days ago

K$H sics agents on Ohio voter rights organization

6 days ago

“The aluminum chassis, while almost identical, has holes that are machined with a slightly different pattern”: Trump T1 necropsy

6 days ago

Newsmax reports DOGE cutting gay trans fly breeding program

6 days ago

Majority of Evangelicals oppose war in Iran: Reuters/Ipsos poll

6 days ago

Kennedy Center puppet board seeks stay of Trump name removal

6 days ago

Mediocre white guys slapfighting on Twitter again

6 days ago

Regime plans lame duck “expunge” of Trump impeachments: WSJ

6 days ago

“President Donald Trump grew furious this week”

6 days ago

New York Post reports Nazi-curious degenerate unfit for office

6 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x