Categories
Uncategorized

Colorado Kohl’s shoplifters try to get felony charges dropped to misdemeanors because there were coupons on the shit they stole

“Michael Green, 50, and Byron Bolden, 37, were formally sentenced this month after being convicted of retail theft at a Kohl’s department store in [Parker, Colorado]. The investigation revealed both Green and Bolden were associated with other Kohl’s thefts, which is why the department store dubbed the pair the ‘KitchenAid Mixer Crew.’ In addition to stealing brand name shoes and clothing, the thefts also included high-end KitchenAid appliances… At trial, defense attorneys suggested to a jury that their clients should only face a lesser misdemeanor charge because some of the items they stole were being offered ‘on sale.’ In Colorado, theft under $2,000 is a misdemeanor offense.”

“Meanwhile, theft between $2,000 and $5,000 is a Class 6 felony. The documented value of the items stolen was $2,094.98. A jury ultimately convicted both men of felony theft” says a Wednesday press release from Colorado 18th Judicial District Attorney John Kellner’s office.

A report from The Denver Gazette tells the story of their “defense” a little better, describing it was more theoretical that the items could have been on sale using various coupons and Kohl’s shopper discounts available… if they had actually paid for the shit. Which they didn’t.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Orange Fuhrer’s approval now at 34 percent: Economist/YouGov

6 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: DC bids farewell to its dearest Lindsey

11 hours ago

Florida seniors get special recognition from Governor Ron DeSantis

14 hours ago

Talarico 45 – Paxton 40 in Texas: poll

17 hours ago

Axios finds polite way to call Trump a deranged fucking idiot

18 hours ago

Southern Japan hit with 7.1 magnitude earthquake

19 hours ago

Vexatious invalid plainly not keeping up with lawyers’ day-to-day

1 day ago

Regime petitions Supreme Court to throttle mail-in voting

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Shitbrain slurs through Michigan speech

1 day ago

Texas MAGA Congressman under House Ethics investigation

1 day ago

Japanese Pokemon fandom now even more dystopian

1 day ago

Newspaper missing from McConnell proof-of-life photo

2 days ago

Cracker Barrel CEO to step down

2 days ago

“Remember, stupidity always brings LOSING AND DEATH!”

2 days ago

Orange Mental Patient goes on weird, dark AI slop shitpost binge

2 days ago

Brooklyn scooterist suffers minor injuries in scooter accident

2 days ago

“Scooterist” killed in accident: Hartford, Connecticut Fox affiliate

3 days ago

Ilhan Omar says it better than few

4 days ago

NZ Draft Cut: SpaceX jacks up rates on rural MAGAmericans

4 days ago

Vending machine burritos recalled

4 days ago

Second WHCA Dinner Attempt: Hate Watch Live

4 days ago

Qatar Force One was under a specific threat in Turkey: NYT

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: The Dipshit President Show! Wiiiiiith your host….

4 days ago

Top ICC prosecutor removed for sexual misconduct

4 days ago

Sucker accepts Chinese dictator’s word for it

5 days ago

Closeted Russian asset thrills to Limey immigrant’s AI slop ad

5 days ago

BREAKING: Anonymous Republican calls Trump weak, impotent

5 days ago

War taking “personal toll” on Trump and his top minions: WSJ

5 days ago

Fox News reports Riley Gaines reacts to columnist Nancy Armour’s reaction to hard fouls on Caitlin Clark and holy fuck this is so dumb

5 days ago

Regime pussies out of NYT subpoenas

5 days ago

Villager’s paid Tinder date with “sugar baby” started well enough…

5 days ago

Karoline Kraziness: Watch Live

6 days ago

“Massive attack… Bigger than ever… Close to making a decision”

6 days ago

Klan-brained hayseed says driver’s licenses not enough anymore

6 days ago

Orange Grandpa not mad, just disappointed with Iran

6 days ago

Emerson poll finds Dems up by 11 on congressional ballot

6 days ago

“Justice at last???”

6 days ago

Houthis hit two Saudi oil tankers

6 days ago

Who the hell wrote this “voter ID because Olive Garden” meme?

6 days ago

Dems 53 – GOP 46 on generic ballot: Fox News poll

6 days ago

MAGA West Virginia delegate charged with enticing 15 year-old girl

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: The Great Leader addresses his most loyal citizenry

6 days ago

Tom Cotton warns Mamdani moving ICC window to Trump Regime

6 days ago

Hitler’s birthplace turned into police station to deter “tourists”

7 days ago

Dead soldiers said Iran can never have a nuke: Trump

7 days ago

Orange Pharaoh really super extra serious about bombing Iran now

7 days ago

Epstein pal found Epsteined

7 days ago

Fox News reports communists irresponsible, made poor life choices

7 days ago

World Bank egghead says Iran war restart threatens global growth

7 days ago

Mamdani backs down on Netanyahu arrest

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x