Categories
Uncategorized

This fat fuck stole our joke

There’s something so goddamned aggravating about this shit Trump was saying to his ball-sucking cultists on Tuesday about the stock market going up because investors think he’s going to win the 2024 election. It was a switch from badmouthing it over the weekend, when he was saying it was just “making rich people richer.” He’ll probably even keep going with this “they think I’m going to win” argument to downplay already extremely solid numbers across so many different metrics continue to surge as expected next year when the Fed starts cutting interest rates again.

Bad faith bullshit as it is, that’s not what makes it so aggravating. The real problem is he fucking stole our joke from the October 6th National Zero “we’ll resume our regular coverage after this” satire piece titled “US employers add 336,000 jobs after seeing Trump lead in polls,” in which we wrote the job growth came “in anticipation of the greatest economy president ever being sworn into office again in 15 months. They also increased wages by 4.2 percent over 3.7 percent inflation just to give your wallet a sweet happy memory of what it was like. Your wallet misses Trump.”

No, Donald wasn’t aware and didn’t do it on purpose, but this imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. It’s different from simply making a correct call like, for example, when we were right about the MAGA assholes raging over Jesus dork Mike Johnson blurring out the faces in the Capitol riot footage as that prevented them from “identifying” the “Antifa” and “FBI” fifth columnists. This sort of situation feels dirty, almost like “retroactive jealousy” where some people get freaked out over their partner’s sexual history, even as the “retroactive” part definitionally means one has no agency in it.

Trump cheapened the joke’s inspiration by making it real. That it wasn’t that hard to come up with given our fluency in the just fucking gutter-level bad faith of him and his minions didn’t make it any less funny… Or this transgression feel any less of a personal insult. This is even worse than the time that Hugh Hewitt dipshit vowed that Trump would have the opportunity to prove the 2020 election was really stolen from him in the discovery process when Jack Smith’s grand jury indicted the fat fuck for the post-2020 election coup attempt less than eight hours after we had jokingly written the same thing. Actually looking back at our estimate of the intellectual dishonesty of Trump fanboys being validated so quickly feels better now. Maybe there’s hope for healing on this one too.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

“So-called ‘Senator’ Jerry Moron…”

7 hours ago

President commands cronies to stop buying Canadian private jets

13 hours ago

Surprise! Ohio MAGA terrorist brother to disgraced state GOP operative and lobbyist with history of Epstein-ish behavior

19 hours ago

“New America” renaming the next major national project

1 day ago

Tennessee Trump store’s final day saw 12 customers stop by

1 day ago

FCC incel “looking at” punishing “fake polls”

2 days ago

Orange God Emperor’s approval at 24 percent with indies: NBC poll

2 days ago

Heralds of the MAGApocalypse

3 days ago

Ketamine Brain spending to help Picasso Face

3 days ago

Missouri Sec of State appeals gerrymander brick to Los Supremos

3 days ago

“Justice for HeeHaw” campaign takes dark turn, lawyer Chris P McCreme alleges harassment against cop-slain donkey’s owner

3 days ago

Enfeebled grandpa makes noises in front of cameras: Watch live

4 days ago

Orange God Emperor threatens to shut off all international trade

4 days ago

Diesel prices historic, incredible, no one’s ever seen anything like it

4 days ago

Gateway Pundit sounds the alarm on foreign propaganda bots

4 days ago

Missouri state Supreme Court tosses 2026 gerrymander

4 days ago

Crazy Maria fired for telling Trump that the Murdochs had banned coverage of his batshit election denying speech: Status News

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Jaydee lies to the American people in briefing room

5 days ago

Maria Bartiromo with Fox News no-mo

5 days ago

Machado speaks out against Nobel Prize owner’s oil plunder

5 days ago

Reporting on depleted ammo is treason and it’s also false anyway

5 days ago

House cancels two weeks of September session

5 days ago

Epstein bro Leon Black sues House Oversight to duck subpoena

5 days ago

Fox Newstress thinks GOP being gaslit into loser mentality

5 days ago

House GOP’s ill-advised Supreme Court cap amendment fails

5 days ago

President meets with travel execs to unlower prices: Watch live

6 days ago

Nothing stopping Trump from renaming Strait of Hormuz for himself

6 days ago

US Mint selling $1 Trump coins for $2.44 each

6 days ago

Comer too stupid to be trolling here

6 days ago

Apple Maps renames Lake Ontario before Trump minions do

6 days ago

Orange Fuhrer says Iran will be so defeated this time

7 days ago

Scalise hypes constitutional amendment to cap Supreme Court

7 days ago

Lake America approval rate at 14 percent: Reuters/Ipsos poll

7 days ago

Senescent old men talk about what’s wrong with Hollywood

1 week ago

Army Secretary Dan Driscoll quits

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Maybe he dies on camera finally

1 week ago

Kalshi fines, bans House GOP candidate for betting on her own bid

1 week ago

Change some of the nouns around on this Trump post

1 week ago

North Koreans don’t give a shit what Trump does

1 week ago

Maybe if they weren’t so focused on the reflecting pool…

1 week ago

More stuff goes kaboom in Iran

1 week ago

Great Leader promises state crackdown on subversive polling

1 week ago

MAGA Congresswoman admits voters’ “Trump fatigue” real

1 week ago

“There’s not really a point in passing this after the election”: House Republican staffer on bill to lower Americans’ electricity costs

1 week ago

Milo Yiannopoulos already deported to UK

1 week ago

Trump not mad at all about NYT story on his 9/11 schedule

1 week ago

Loomer takes credit for Milo Yiannopoulos’s ICE arrest

1 week ago

Astronauts wait awkwardly for inconsiderate orange asshole: Live

2 weeks ago

President announces sweeping new policy gesture to help famers

2 weeks ago

Officials fear secondary Himalayan flash flood

2 weeks ago

x
x
x
x
x
x