House GOP too sad even for Trump to hang out with

House Republicans invited fat former President Trump to speak to them at their annual retreat in West Virginia this week, only for the twice-impeached loser to turn them down, CNN’s Melanie Zanona reports, adding that their Orange God Emperor would rather be in federal court in Florida to sit in on some tedious evidentiary hearing that he did not at all have to be present for.

Cuba hit with 6.8 magnitude quake after blackouts, hurricane

RHESUS MONKEY CRISIS UPDATE: One down, 42 to go

Daily Wire exposes massive FEMA worker safety conspiracy

Biden and Trump to meet Wednesday

Why does a Wendy’s Jr Bacon Cheeseburger still cost $3.99?

Wildfire breaks out in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CXCIX

Armed man in body armor arrested near Florida Dem’s house

Zero escaped rhesus monkeys captured in South Carolina

Biden lifts ban on US military contractors working in Ukraine

MAGA Senator-Elect Jim Banks down with mass deportations

Quotation marks placed around “groceries”

FBI investigating racist threats texted to Black people

Try “forest bathing” for your post-election anxiety: CNN

Orange God Emperor promises retribution over $DJT sale rumors

US consumers set to lose up to $78 billion in spending power: study

Ghanaian president unveils golden statue honoring self

Private prison company’s stock price up 60 percent

Florida man killed while chasing cash on I-95 in Rhode Island

Experimental Boeing plane doesn’t malfunction during tests

Penguin gets lost, swims to Australia

Want to get away from it all? “Project Hyperion” may be for you!

Surprise! Trump’s “peace plan” is Ukrainian surrender

Rhesus monkeys escape from South Carolina testing lab

We have been derailed; we have not been defeated

WATCH LIVE: Biden addresses nation

Texas 2024 turnout flat from, maybe even below 2020’s

Mortgage rates increased this week

Half-empty or half-full

New trial ordered for Texas death row inmate over antisemitic judge

Oregon ambulance hits cyclist, sticks him with bill for ride

Someone should write an essay comparing Biden to Hindenburg

WATCH LIVE: Vice President Harris declares non-victory

Nigerian “prince” arrested for romance scams

Around 10 million 2020 Biden voters failed to show up

Kamala Harris concedes

Maybe some liberals should consider becoming Trump fans

Raccoon falls through ceiling at LaGuardia Spirit Airlines gate

Hurricane Rafael strengthens in Gulf

Donald Trump elected 47th President of The United States

WAR FOR THE WHITE HOUSE 2024: National Zero Live Coverage

Vermont Republican governor votes for Harris

North Korean troops over-indulging on internet porn in Russia

THE CAPS MAY BE AN INDICATOR OF SERIOUS PANIC

Philly DA open to Trump proving he’s not full of shit

Equatorial Guinea VP orders officials to stop fucking at work

“Lot of talk” indeed

Taco Bell’s Guatemala division promotes “Taco Martes”

Michigan libtard arrested for threatening to kill MAGA Evangelicals

Minions tell Trump he’s got nothing to lose by claiming he’s won