Inspired by the new triple-threat co-chair of the RNC Lara Trump (below-average pop singer, surgically-enhanced all-natural fitness guru, and nepotistically-appointed Party leader), Ohio Republican Congressman and guy a little too eager to coach Little League baseball Jim Jordan wants to take on a third role besides embarrassing House committee chairman and ineffective legislative representative: professional wrestling “heel.”
Photos and interview notes of the spandex-wearing former Ohio State sexual abuse misprisioner during his audition for Mexican wrestling federation Nación Lucha Libre were leaked on Monday to Revista de Rumores de Lucha Libre, who reported Jordan signed a special contrato de un dia allowing the league to pick up Jordan’s option at its sole discretion. As of 3:52 p.m. ET, Nación Lucha Libre has declined to execute the contract.
The character Jordan proposed, according to the notes taken by an NLL official, is named El Babosa, who would a red traditional mask with a blue X decorated with white stars on it, and doesn’t wrestle himself. Instead, El Babosa jumps in the rings after each match to spend an insufferable amount of time rapidly explaining why the loser of the last match was actually victorious as he collects donations. Jordan’s office did not return a request for comment.