Barry County, Michigan Sheriff Dar Leaf, a very, uh, colorful character who recently was subpoenaed by a grand jury over his refusal to share with prosecutors the details of the “investigation” he’s been working on for more than three years to “prove” the 2020 election was stolen from fat former Trump, is apparently very keen to share at least some of those details with diminutive COVID conspiracy theorist Senator Rand Paul and spandex-wearing grapple freak Congressman Jim Jordan, as it appears that Leaf believes he’s connected the dots between the virus and the “steal.”

“The Barry County Sheriff’s Office has an ongoing investigation related to the November 3, 2020, election. My Office is in possession of evidence that I am asking Congress to investigate and obtain sworn testimony. On March 3, 2020, the CDC reported 60 cases of COVID-19 across America, and by March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic. Also on March 3, 2020, Dominion employee, Nick Ikonomakis, requested Lingming Cen, Dominion employee who was educated and trained at the Wuhan University of Science & Technology, be removed from the ‘Jira cloud login.’ Lingming Cen specializes in software development and programming. On May 12, 2020, Goren Obradovic, Dominion employee and ‘inventor’ of Dominion patents filed in the US, requested that Lingming Cen receive ‘elevated permissions’ and be given ‘access to server resources,'” wrote leaf in a letter dated Wednesday and addressed to Paul and Jordan. Yes, this is real.

Continued: “From March of 2020, through the conclusion of the November 3, 2020, election, Matt Horace and Candance Miller, Mayo Clinic employees, arranged meetings from their official Mayo Clinic accounts with Kay Stimson, a Dominion employee. Matt Horace was previously employed by Dominion between 2018 and 2019 when Dominion curiously predicted a ‘turbulent election cycle in the United States.’ Additionally, I am attaching evidence relating to delay in responding to the United States government, specifically the [Election Assistance Commission], when asked about its use of globally sourced parts, and machines in use that were not certified, and Kay Stimson’s position that the EAC was ‘overstepping their bounds’ when asking for malfunction reports.”

“I look forward to assisting your investigation,” Leaf concluded. We can’t decide which would be funnier, if Paul and Jordan took him seriously and called a joint hearing or if they ignored him because this guy’s too fucking crazy for even demented assclowns like them to deal with.