Just to get this out of the way first: We don’t actually believe this stupid poll that shows Trump leading Biden 46 to 45 percent, especially given that it was “exclusive” to the goddamned New York Post. Breitbart does however and their coping over the change in the finding conditioned on a change if the Orange God Emperor is convicted at trial in Manhattan is just too fucking funny.

The headline “Poll: Potential Trump Conviction Would Not Lift Biden’s Lagging Support” is an objectively true statement about the findings. It’s just, ughhhhh, man this is brutal.

“The poll also indicates a small percentage of Trump’s current support would move to the undecided column should a Manhattan jury convict him. Hypothetically, Trump could re-earn those undecided voters back into his column after the shock of a potential conviction wears off. Trump, along with some Republican lawmakers and conservative pundits, believe evidence shows Biden’s White House is involved in the several prosecutions of Trump,” they write, before they get to the actual numbers, laying them out in what looks like the absolute most ass-backwards way possible.

So really it’s Biden 45 percent to Trump 39 percent if Trump gets convicted at this trial. That’s all they needed to write instead of these goddamned bulleted lists, but the real question is what the hell compelled them to pick this up at all. Like there’s no shame in skipping unfavorable numbers, we do it all the time and have pretty much stopped caring about them except from just a handful of reliable-ish pollsters. We would be absolutely thrilled if this were the final result, a six-point popular vote edge would be a very comfortable win for Biden in the Electoral College. But who gives a fuck what it says now, in May, when the fat bastard hasn’t even been convicted yet?

“Trump’s ongoing criminal trial in Manhattan is perhaps the only case in which a jury could find him guilty before November. Increasing numbers of Americans see the criminal trial of Trump as irrelevant to his fitness for reelection, a CNN poll found Friday, and only 13 percent believe Trump is being treated the same as other ‘criminal defendants,'” Breitbart writes, doing the pretty much the same fucking thing twice in one article, because that CNN question also found that more than twice as many respondents, 34 percent, said “Trump is being treated more leniently than other defendants,” and another 19 percent said they didn’t know enough, leaving only the remaining 34 percent saying that Trump was being treated unfairly. Glass not even half full of orange Kool-Aid.

So yeah, Breitbart’s spin sucks and they should stop performatively coping for their audience who suddenly learned to love polling numbers over the last eight months or so.