Sources tell the Washington Post that disgraced former President Trump last month informed a group of wealthy oil company CEOs gathered at Mar-a-Lago that they needed to contribute $1 billion to his effort to return to power and that doing so would be a great “deal” in exchange for free reign to do whatever they want to the environment, to workers, and probably Greenpeace too.

“You’ll get it on the first day,” the fat fuck reportedly told the oilgarchs while mentioning the Biden Administration’s freeze on liquefied natural gas export permits. The pornstar fucker promised to auction off drilling leases for the Gulf of Mexico, remove restrictions on exploiting the Alaskan Arctic, kill off Biden’s electric vehicle mandate, and other decidedly eco-unfriendly policy changes. Donald also naturally took time to bitch about wind turbines though it’s not clear if he used the cancer line.

“You’ve been waiting on a permit for five years, you’ll get it on Day 1,” Trump said to the rapacious executives. None of this should be surprising, since it’s a great way to own the libs who don’t like such naked corruption in service of technological progress in fighting climate change. There is however a risk in the Orange Man’s jerking off of energy CEOs as it would come quite literally at the expense of the auto manufacturers who have invested billions into EVs. “Automakers need some degree of regulatory certainty from government,” auto lobbyist John Bozzella, who represents the Big Three plus some of the foreign makes, told the Post. “What has emerged instead is a wholesale repeal… and then reinstatement… and then repeal again of regulations every four or eight years.”