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Xi vows to fortify southern border with India

Evidently seeing that making people feel insecure about foreigners works to incite nationalism in the US and Western Europe, Chinese communist dictator Xi Jingping last week told his minions the regime will turn its focus to fortifying its border with India, Bloomberg reports.

“China faces new opportunities and challenges in border, coastal and air defense” as a result of changes in the global landscape, said Xi during a study session of the ChiCom Politburo, mentioning a 2020 firefight between Indian and Chinese troops that left 20 of fellow dictator Narendra Modi’s stormtroopers and four of the ChiComs dead. Xi did not explain why it’s so important in practical terms to secure a disputed frontier stretching thousands of miles across desolate and treacherous Himalayan wilderness so it’s safe to assume this is simply his dick-measuring contest with Modi.

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