"You either own the markets or you don't"

Chemically-balanced Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto on Monday dared point out convicted felon former President Trump’s conflicting statements on who is responsible for the stock market, risking the wrath of the Orange God Emperor and his violent, fanatical death cult by simply saying “When they are up, it is because of him. When they are down, it is because of the Democrats.”

Wienery former Trump spokesman says Donald saved Christmas

Judge Chutkan dismisses Trump DC case without prejudice

Team Orange investigating Ephsteyn for influence peddling: CNN

“MASSIVE WIN for the rule of law”

Jack Smith moves to dismiss DC Trump case without prejudice

Orange Lord showers his golden glory upon replacement for Gaetz

Surprise! Shen Yun a human trafficking operation, per lawsuit

Next Trump Reich’s FCC chair vows to defeat Soros

Far right scumbag leads in Romanian presidential election

Ashley Madison exec reveals top US adultery hotspots to Fox News

No surprises whatsover from Pizzagate Asshole’s taste in music

Lost penguin deported from Australia

New York Post reports Trump to completely defeat Tren de Aragua gang but then the daydream ended and a cold reality sank in

MAGA Senators still fine-tuning Hegseth defenses

NASA developing phone-sized aquatic probes to explore Europa

Venezuelan forces lay siege to Argentinian embassy in Caracas

Fox News reports wokeness ruining country music industry

Philippines Vice President Sara Duterte says she’s ordered assassin to kill President Ferdinand Marcos immediately if/when she is killed

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

Hungarian Nazi enthusiast named to National Security post

We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

Hedge fund manager going to play with a lot more people’s money

Maine Republican declared winner of election for state seat by one vote after being arrested for choking wife in October

Canadian Clustertruck captain convicted

Top German conservative activist dies at 96

Guy who can’t get webcasts to work interested in buying MSNBC

Texas Supreme Court gets Ken Paxton out of a jam

Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

Judge Merchan indefinitely postpones Trump sentencing

Mike Rogers not under consideration for FBI chief: Trump minion

MAGA Land urges children to sacrifice new toys for America First

Tucker says he told Johnson to “check with Putin” on Ukraine aid

Team Orange “blindsided” by Hegseth rape accusation

Convicted California pedophile faces 740 years to life in prison

New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

“He was doing very well but, at the same time, did not want to be a distraction for the Administration”: Trump on Gaetz withdrawal

Matt Gaetz pulls out before things got even more messy

Republicans don’t actually know how mass deportation will work

MAGA propagandists put on nominee defense duty

Barrasso comes out in support of Pete Hegseth

Allegation: Hegseth drugged, sexually assaulted woman

ICC issues arrest warrant for Netanyahu

Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

Florida man arrested for planning to bomb Wall Street

Out of control inflation: banana sells for $5 million

House Republicans lining up to sink Gaetz nomination

Not The Onion: Alex Jones sues Sandy Hook families, The Onion

Capitol rioter convicted of plotting to murder FBI agents

House Ethics fails to agree to release Gaetz investigation report

Elon Musk got a lot done today