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“Would I believe it if she wins? I’ll have a lot of questions”

Hardcore fans of convicted felon former President Trump who spoke to New York Times reporters at Friday’s MAGA rally in Montana were largely dismissive of Vice President Kamala Harris’s now very clear momentum against their Orange Messiah, but were also willing to accept the possibility that she could win… if the election is rigged by malign forces such as the dreaded “they.”

Chris Groessler, 44, who drove four hours to get to the rally, told the Times Harris is “very well spoken for by the media, and I think that’s what’s really pushing this artificial rise in her popularity. I don’t believe that she can win. I am one of those ones that believes it will be a rigged election.”

“It’s a honeymoon phase,” 70 year-old Hal Garrigues said of Harris’s popularity in a sign that he may lack the capacity to form an original thought about the state of the race, instead simply regurgitating what he hears on Fox News, who regurgitated the “honeymoon” line from the Trump campaign. “And Trump’s turnout is going to be massive, because his base is extremely energized,” Garrigues added.

“It’s kind of like when you date somebody for the first time,” said 35 year-old rally attendee Chris Black. “The first couple weeks are always really good, but we’ll see in 90 days how it turns out, right?” Black continued. The Times mentions that Black was at the Trump show with his wife, who he has presumably known for longer than 90 days and their marriage is good enough where at the very least she would accompany him to the rally to be supportive of his politics (if hers aren’t the same).

“I’m not nervous at all,” said 59 year-old “Trump has got it.” We guess “it” means the election. When asked if she thought Harris could win, “No, absolutely not.” Asked again what she would think if Harris did win, Whitney said “I’ll be very sad… Would I believe it if she wins? I’ll have a lot of questions,” she continued, her laughter noted by the Times.

The Orange Allah went off on the Grey Lady once again Sunday morning, though it’s not clear if this was in response to Saturday’s damning swing state polling, the reporting that he called Harris a “bitch” (which was also caught on video recently on his golf course), or the ongoing shitshow about the helicopter ride. It was probably all three. “The Failing New York Times, which is a crooked newspaper run by a Radical Left group of Lunatics, is losing readers at a record level. Their stories about me are highly inaccurate, and their polling is even worse. They are a big reason for the DECLINE OF NEW YORK CITY, which the entire World is watching with shock and sorrow! Its only hope is that I get elected President. I will fix it, and fix it fast!” the fat fuck posted on Truth Social, acting as if the Times is equivalent in power to Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg or Mayor Eric Adams even if you accept his false premise that the city is in irreversible civic and economic decline.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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