A Berks County, Pennsylvania man wielding a samurai sword was soundly defeated by a state trooper with taser Tuesday morning, like it wasn’t even close, they just zapped the bastard within seconds of encountering him on the front porch of his home, the Reading Eagle reports.
To be fair, however, the fight kind of was not, thanks to 53 year-old Steven L Schoenauer’s wife, who dialed 911 and said her husband specifically wanted to go down in a hail of gunfire rather. Nine troopers showed up, with an ambulance at the ready and, knowing Schoenauer wielded an ancient bladed weapon, they had the tasers locked and loaded. Schoenauer was zapped and charged with two counts each of aggravated and simple assault and reckless endangerment along with weapons offenses. He did at least get to scream “I will end you” and “Come here I’ll show you,” with his shirt off like some really cool scene from Gladiator or 300. They then zapped him from a 15 ft range.