Are winged rodents in your home driving you just batty? Well the Fort Myers, Florida News-Press has THE article for you on how to deal with an unexpected visit from a squeaky little flying bastard.
“The first step in removing a bat from your home is to stay calm,” the paper quotes from tips by the Florida Bat Conservancy. “If the bat is flying around, it is not trying to attack anyone, it is only attempting to find a way out.” Next you need to turn on all your lights because, contrary to some dated myths, bats aren’t blind and don’t fear light. “Next, close the doors to adjoining rooms to confine it to one room. Open any exterior doors and windows in the room the bat is flying around (more bats will not fly in),” the Bat Conservancy says but we have to stop them right there.
What the hell makes them so sure about that? Okay maybe they’re saying that bats outside will not automatically follow the first one indoors but they should spell that out and not fucking lie to people.
“More than likely, the bat will just fly out the open door or window within a few minutes. Do not chase the bat out.” Okay. Don’t chase bat. But can you bang pots and pans or something to scare the fucker toward the egress? Well they sure as hell don’t say that or anything about to do next.
The next section begins with “It will take more effort to remove a breeding colony than a single bat that accidentally flew into your home or garage.” Lol. They don’t say whether to stay calm.