Standing at a gasoline pump next to his son’s Ford F-150 and making a frowny face, 43 year-old De Soto, Iowa factory worker Francisco Castillo tells the AP he used to be friends with the gasoline pumps that make the big truck go “glug glug glug – AHHHHHHH! Yummy! My belly is full again! Now I can go vroom vroom vroom and say hi to all the animals I see when we drive!” but now the gasoline pumps are mean and aren’t listening to Francisco, who voted for them to be more generous.

“I thought that he was going to bring some of those things back,” said Francisco, who was sad because the plump Orange Man who likes to touch ladies’ private parts without asking if it’s okay first was going to make Mr Gasoline Pump be Francisco’s friend again. “He said he was going to bring gas down, but the war in Iran is now making everything worse,” said Francisco, who doesn’t understand yet that sometimes grownups don’t always tell the truth and that part of being a Big Boy is knowing when they might not be telling the truth. That every once in a while the kind of grownups that tell boys like Francisco there are puppies and candy in their van that you can come see if you just follow them across the supermarket parking lot will also tell him whatever he wants to hear if it means they don’t have to go to jail for stealing super-secret spy papers from the Army.

Don’t worry. Francisco most likely wasn’t sad for long after the truck went vroom vroom again so he could go home and listen to a man on a podcast talk about how easy it is to win lots and lots of money by betting on an important basketball game happening in a different state far away, which made Francisco smile and forget about the plump Orange Man and the mean Gasoline Pump.