Batshit insane Florida MAGA Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna on Thursday told Kremlin-paid four-eyed penis Benny Johnson she’s sure that convicted felon President Trump isn’t on the Epstein client list because “they would’ve released it during the election cycle,” the “they” obvious enough.

Just going to self-plagiarize why that’s a pretty bullshit explanation: Say Merrick Garland held a press conference in June 2023 and stood there at the podium with poster-sized copies of the pics of Trump with the faces and breasts of topless underage girls blurred out, holding up a stack of papers saying “These are the files from the FBI’s multiple investigations into Jeffrey Epstein and we have strong evidence that former President Trump was the victim of a blackmail scheme in which he engaged in sexual relations with underage female sex trafficking victims.” Does anyone think Trump fans would have saw that and said “Oh my God. I didn’t want it to be true, but here it is RIGHT in front of me. There’s no way those pics were photoshopped or generated by AI. All this testimony and these financial documents are ironclad. I’m so ashamed I ever supported that fucking monster”?

That copypasta from National Zero out of the way, the flip side of the coin is also worth mentioning too: That Biden and Garland were cognizant that they wouldn’t be believed on top of being too reserved and “norms”-bound to even consider such a thing. Add the fact that these freaking assholes are having trouble believing it from THEIR OWN GODDAMNED PRESIDENT’S ADMINISTRATION and yeah, it’s pretty easy to imagine why Biden/Garland never bothered.

This is all in the MAGA vacuum. The Biden pieces are off the five-dimensional chess board. Either the list doesn’t exist, which is pretty fucking hard to believe – and Luna treats its existence as a certainty – or it does and Trump is keeping it under wraps to protect himself and/or other clients from being inculpated in the statutory rape of sex-trafficked underage girls on Epstein Island.

Also in that MAGA vacuum is another binary: Luna and her ilk can either keep jerking off on these stupid shows or they can subpoena the documents from the relevant officials at the Justice Department. They have the majorities, unlike Democrats who just keep sending sternly-worded letters demanding documents – in absence of the subpoena power that Luna and pals aren’t using.