A truckload of wieners that could’ve been put in people’s mouths instead ended up flopping all over I-83 in Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania on Friday, the AP reports in an article headlined “Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania commuters’ wurst nightmare,” emphasis added.
“Crews were stuck with a job they did not relish,” the AP wrote under the lede, emphasis added again. There’s no official byline so it’s not clear whether UPI’s Ben Hooper – the redoubtable chronicler legend in the business for masterworks such as “Crash on a California highway caused an hours-long ‘traffic yam’” after a similar spill of sweet potatoes – has been poached by the larger rival wire service to serve as their most elegant quill of family-friendly, whimsical reportage.
Which would suck because that guy’s such a fucking wiener. Then again it doesn’t matter as his “style” has plainly already infected the brains of the AP writers who came up with these lame puns instead of just treating the audience like adults and going with sophomoric dick jokes. The closest they got in this article was an apparently sincere use of “tube steaks” as another term for hot dogs.