“Sidney Sweeney, a registered Republican, has the HOTTEST ad out there. It’s for American Eagle, and the jeans are ‘flying of the shelves.’ Go get ‘em Sidney. On the other side of the ledger, Jaguar did a stupid, and seriously WOKE, advertisement, THAT IS A DISASTER. The CEO just resigned, the company is in turmoil. Shouldn’t they have learned a lesson from Bud Lite, which went Woke and essentially destroyed, in a short but very Woke campaign, the Company. The market cap destruction has been unprecedented, BILLIONS OF DOLLARS LOST. Or just look at Woke singer Taylor Swift.”

“Ever since I alerted the world as to what she was by saying on TRUTH that I can’t stand her,” wrote convicted felon President Trump on Monday. It’s Sydney Sweeney, Señor Tiny Weenie.

The demented Truth Social missive was a break from the actual governing and policy-ish work of justifying his impulsive, Stalinesque firing of the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics just hours after they handed him a shitty monthly employment report on Friday. “Last weeks Job’s Report was RIGGED, just like the numbers prior to the Presidential Election were Rigged. That’s why, in both cases, there was massive, record setting revisions, in favor of the Radical Left Democrats.”

“Those big adjustments were made to cover up, and level out, the FAKE political numbers that were CONCOCTED in order to make a great Republican Success look less stellar!!! I will pick an exceptional replacement. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAGA!” Trump posted, obviously realizing he fucked up but digging deeper as the fat fucking baby is wont to do.