Categories
Uncategorized

Bondi announces $50 million reward for arrest of Maduro

In what’s quite possibly an idea that was brainstormed at her Wednesday night White House crisis meeting with other top-ranking Trump Regime officials on finding ways out of the Jeffrey Epstein clusterfuck, dipshit Attorney General Pam Bondi on Thursday announced the Justice Department was doubling its reward for information leading to the arrest of Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro.

Rewards are a useful incentive for law enforcement when nobody actually knows where a fugitive from justice or, for the military, a terrorist leader is hiding. Surely plenty of people in Afghanistan and elsewhere got paid and very well to inform on there whereabouts of top Al-Qaeda assholes. With Maduro it’s more like there are probably at least a few thousand people in the CIA who could walk into Bondi’s office, slap some colorfully-annotated satellite images of government buildings in Caracas on her desk and say “Here he is, go arrest him. Now give me my $50 million, you blonde idiot.” Nobody here or in Venezuela has been fucking holding out for her to double the bounty.

Now maybe there actually is a number that would be enough to get some of Maduro’s top military guys to turn on him, tie a sack on his head, and fly him to Puerto Rico. That number is almost certainly not $50 million. It might not even be $500 million. If Bondi were really serious she’d be working on some backchanneling through the State Department and CIA and so on to start those conversations, not doing a stupid video announcement as if Dog the Bounty Hunter or some asshole who thinks he’s the Mandalorian will go hot on Maduro’s trail and then get immediately gunned down by his security guards outside whatever bunker the Venezuelan dictator sleeps in.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

WATCH LIVE: Another presidential proof of life appearance

1 hour ago

John Bolton to plead guilty

6 hours ago

Gateway Pundit turns on Trump’s Alabama Senate pick Moore

8 hours ago

Fat baby cries about California, won’t do anything about it

10 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Decaying mind spews bullshit for first time in a week

1 day ago

Pennsylvania volunteer firefighter was the arsonist the whole time

1 day ago

Republican towns urged to apply to DOJ’s “Model Cities Initiative”

1 day ago

Rapidly deteriorating senior insists everything fine with him, nation

1 day ago

Regime ends home heating electric conversion rebate program

1 day ago

Spain’s Crown Princess earns combat paratrooper badge

1 day ago

Humble Kevin Cramer ain’t some flashy, flamboyant big city senator

1 day ago

New Jersey GOP Senate nominee has -$23.71 in campaign cash

1 day ago

“Everyone said it was going to be $300, $400 a barrel”

1 day ago

Fox News regrets to report horrific news for America

1 day ago

BREAKING: Scott Pelley to start YouTube channel and Substack

2 days ago

More shit blown up during ceasefire

2 days ago

Todd Blanche testifies to House Oversight: Watch Live

2 days ago

Andy Ogles deletes gay-bashing post

2 days ago

Trump to brick random bank accounts because “fraud”

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Mehmet Oz fills in for Krazy Karoline

2 days ago

President makes important new self-contradictory statement

2 days ago

Ted Cruz confident American voters will ignore gas prices and focus on the bigger picture of depriving Iran of a nuclear weapon

2 days ago

Ken Paxton divorce trial cancelled

2 days ago

“The Biggest Threat to JD Vance Is Spencer Pratt”

2 days ago

“Firm pledge” about as soft as you know what

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Rubio testifies before Senate committee

2 days ago

Orange Pharaoh appoints Fannie Man as Acting DNI

2 days ago

Minnesota GOP holds moment of silence for Derek Chauvin

2 days ago

Yes, everything will work out in the end for the White House staff

2 days ago

Iranian official says return to war “inevitable”

2 days ago

Iowa MAGA Congresswoman admits war a “political liability”

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Super-important Dem primary debate in NY-10

3 days ago

“You’re fucking crazy”

3 days ago

Regime to pull plug on $1.776 billion “weaponization” slush fund

3 days ago

Trump claims Netanyahu to stop ruining his shitty “peace talks”

3 days ago

“We have to put America first, and if you don’t love this country, get out”: MAGA Congresswoman on opposition to Trump’s Iran war

3 days ago

K$H’s girlfriend sues MS Now over use of anonymous sources

3 days ago

Iran pulls the plug on peace talks

3 days ago

US hits Iranian targets again

3 days ago

Newsmax reports voters are stupid, not paying attention to Dow

3 days ago

Orange Shitbag celebrates his bricking of functional government

4 days ago

MAGA Land worked by blatant right wing media payola once again

4 days ago

Crazy Nancy copes with Trump non-endorsement fairly poorly

5 days ago

Needy attention whore appoints himself as replacement act

5 days ago

Mediocre white man expresses appropriate level of confidence

5 days ago

Dan Sullivan announces Senate campaign in Alaska

5 days ago

Comey 8647 prosecutor quits case

6 days ago

Orange Diva gives up on Kennedy Center

6 days ago

Judge orders Kennedy Center’s name restored, venue reopened

6 days ago

Senator Anschluss thrilled by Mullin’s insanely stupid flight plan

6 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x