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They haven’t seen it

A list of quotes from Congressional Republicans asked by NOTUS and other reporters on Monday for comment on the anatomically weird/suspicious and also disturbing birthday card convicted felon President Trump drew and signed for now-dead sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein in 2003:

“I’ve got to activate my Wall Street Journal subscription, I guess, because I haven’t seen it” – MAGA Michigan Congressman Tom Barrett, as if it couldn’t be seen elsewhere on other outlets.

“I haven’t seen that” – Congressmen Tom Tiffany, Paul Gosar, Jim Jordan, and Senate Majority Leader John Thune, apparently all saying the exact same four words, verbatim. Batshit insane Congresswoman Nancy Mace said “it” instead of “that” when denying knowledge.

“I just saw in the news he didn’t have anything to do with it” – Ronny “Dr Feelgood” Jackson.

“I don’t know anything about it. I’m sure it’s an unconfirmed rumor right now” – Douchebag Georgia Congressman Rich McCormick. Shown the letter by a reporter he then switched to “Oh yeah, I saw that. It’s BS,” then saying that Trump’s signature could’ve been forged. “I’ve never seen Trump do anything like that in his life. So it doesn’t fall in character. It has to pass the sniff test.”

Shown a printed copy of the letter outside of the Capitol, dumb hick Tennessee Congressman Tim Burchett said “We’ve seen autopen has been used quite a bit with the Biden administration. I’ve never known Trump to be much of an artist, either. So I kind of draw that into question.”

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