Convicted felon President Trump’s minions tell NOTUS they’ve already ruled out supporting MAGA former North Carolina Congressbro Madison Cawthorn’s carpetbagger campaign to succeed Florida MAGA Congressman and gubernatorial hopeful Byron Donalds in the Sunshine State’s deep red 19th District, with one source saying Maddie “was a disaster in his first term in Congress and everything that Team Trump has seen from him since, only makes people think he’s going to be even a bigger disaster this time around. He has a bit of talent so it is unfortunate that he is so self-destructive.”
Cawthorn, born in 1995, served a single term before he was defeated by McDonald’s franchisee Chuck Edwards in the 2022 NC-11 Republican primary, the two years a roller coaster of hilarity like the time when he told some MAGA podcaster he’d been invited to coke-fueled sex orgies by GOP colleagues he had admired, emerging tearfully from a discipline session with then-Speaker Kevin McCarthy several days later, which then led to a systemic ratfucking by oppo investigators sent by Thom Tillis to dig up evidence of crossdressing and homosexual encounters immediately preceding Cawthorn’s defeat to Edwards. Oh and that he ended his term $500,000 in debt, some of that from a $15,000 fine for failing to disclose having bought $150,000 of “LetsGoBrandon coin” at a discount.
“House Republicans want Madison Cawthorn back about as bad as they want a colonoscopy,” a top GOP aide told NOTUS. Another said working with him was “like babysitting a TikTok influencer who thought he was Winston Churchill. My condolences to the good people of Naples if they have to endure his embarrassments,” as if Byron Donalds is some kind of paragon of competent leadership.
“The great thing about Trump 2.0 is how fast the grifters and the pretenders have been exposed and removed. Suffice it to say – Madison Cawthorn is a perfect example of the kind of pretender and fraud that has no place in the current GOP,” said a national GOP strategist close to Trump, gleefully beating the dead horse that is irony. Anonymously, of course, whoever this freaking pussy is.
Anyway Cawthorn is not the only candidate running in the FL-19 GOP primary, nor is he even the only disgraced former Republican congressman from out of state running in it as ex-New York Representative Chris Collins, who pleaded guilty to insider trading and resigned in January 2020 then served two months of a 26 month bid before Trump pardoned him, declared in August. Also running are eye-candy former candidates Catalina Lauf, who lost to Dem Illinois Congressman Bill Foster in 2022, and Ola Hawatmeh, who fell short in the 2020 New York 19th GOP primary. There’s also former Illinois State Senator Jim Oberweis, a three-time GOP primary loser in US Senate and gubernatorial bids whose 97 year-old family-owned dairy distribution business collapsed last year due to debt and mismanagement by its principal, former Illinois State Senator Jim Oberweis.
You may be surprised to learn that there are several actual Floridians running: Johnny Fratto, a failed 2024 challenger to FL-25 MAGA Congressman Mario Diaz-Balart, former Marine Mike Pedersen, and last but not the least well-funded, corrupt plutocrat Sun Broadcasting CEO Jim Schwartzel.
Yeah that’s the guy Trump’s going to endorse in this primary. Calling it now. Suck it Jim Oberweis.