In an earnings call with investors on Tuesday, Home Depot CEO Ted Decker said that the retailer’s third quarter 2025 “results missed our expectations primarily due to the lack of storms in the third quarter, which resulted in greater than expected pressure in certain categories. Additionally, while underlying demand in the business remained relatively stable sequentially, an expected increase in demand in the third quarter did not materialize. We believe that consumer uncertainty and continued pressure in housing are disproportionately impacting home improvement demand. Our teams are continuing to execute at a high level and we believe we are growing our market share.”

Lol, what a fucking cuck. Fewer storms, really? Now we can sit here and question whether Home Depot’s business model is actually that reliant on a few hurricanes hitting the eastern half of the US every year like Manischewitz relies on observant Jews to celebrate Passover. Manischewitz’s model doesn’t exactly have to assume some risk that they’re all going to skip it – or swap the matzoh for Ritz – in 2026. They can count on their market to show up irrespective of the weather. It’s pretty safe to say Home Depot didn’t get to be the largest hardware retailer in the United States by crossing their fingers hoping that hundreds of thousands of houses are going to need fresh plywood to cover up their windows every hurricane season, thus it’s just as safe to say Decker is full of shit.

Why is he full of shit? Most likely because he’s terrified that telling the truth about the current state of the housing market and consumer confidence in whether adding another bedroom to their ranch house is a smart investment right now. Which would get more mainstream media coverage and accordingly be placed in the larger context of the economy. And then you know who would get upset over that and start screaming at him on Truth Social for being a terrible failing loser woke CEO.