“Two north Texas men have been charged in relation to a plot that included invading an island off Haiti, murdering the men on the island, and using the women and children as sex slaves, announced US Attorney Jay R Combs. Gavin Rivers Weisenburg, 21, of Allen, and Tanner Christopher Thomas, 20, of Argyle were named in a two-count indictment returned by a federal grand jury in the Eastern District of Texas charging them with conspiracy to murder, maim, or kidnap in a foreign country and production of child pornography. Information presented in court indicates that between August 2024 and July 2025, Weisenburg and Thomas are alleged to have conspired to recruit and lead an unlawful expeditionary force to the Island of Gonave, which is part of the Republic of Haiti, for the purpose of carrying out their rape fantasies. Weisenburg and Thomas planned to purchase a sailboat, firearms, and ammunition, then recruit members of the District of Columbia-area homeless population to serve as a mercenary force as they invaded Gonave Island and staged a coup d’etat.”

“Weisenburg and Thomas intended to murder all of the men on the island so that they could then turn all of the women and children into their sex slaves. Weisenburg and Thomas undertook numerous overt acts in furtherance of their invasion plan, including making operational and logistical plans, learning Haitian Creole language, recruiting others to join the invasion plan, and researching and enrolling in schools to acquire skills relevant to the invasion plan. Thomas even enlisted in the US Air Force to acquire military skills relevant to the invasion plan. Weisenburg and Thomas are also charged with production of child pornography in a related count,” says a Justice Department press release, adding that the two face life for conspiring to commit murder in a foreign country.

What it left out is that Gonave’s population is 87,000 people, which would be kind of… challenging for two guys and a small army of homeless Americans to seize control of. If not for the child porn then maybe the feds could’ve just let things play out and saved US taxpayers the hassle.