“Warren County Prosecutor David P Fornshell announced that Olivia Clendenin, 29, of Franklin was convicted by a Warren County jury of attempted murder, two counts of felonious assault, and illegal discharge of a firearm at or into a habitation, along with accompanying firearm specifications,” says the prosecutor’s office in a press release and even the long headline here can’t quite do it justice.

“On January 1, 2025, Clendenin became aware that her husband and her boyfriend were together at a party after both men found out earlier that evening about the relationship each had with Clendenin. After unsuccessfully attempting to persuade her husband to leave the party, Clendenin responded to 5559 Dearth Road in Clearcreek Township, the location of the party,” and just gotta break it there mid-sentence to note that these people are already such freaking hicks before…

…”with a .40 caliber handgun. Clendenin then fired eight shots striking a male victim, who was sitting on the porch at that residence, in the abdomen nearly killing him. ‘The victim had simply been invited to a New Year’s Eve party and found himself in the middle of Clendenin’s barrage of gunfire,’ said Fornshell. ‘Clendenin may have started 2025 as a free person but will spend the rest of 2026 and at a minimum the decade thereafter incarcerated for attempting to murder at least one of her romantic interests – albeit striking and almost killing an innocent victim,'” the press release continued.

The victim was neither the boyfriend nor the husband, he’s never been publicly identified and, as mentioned, the prosecutor only knows that Clendenin shot him, not why. Even freaking wackier is that the only jealousy involved was Olivia’s over the husband – described as “estranged” in some reporting – getting along with the boyfriend at the latter’s house, even after they both knew of the love triangle-ish sitch. Which ended in some dude getting shot in the gut eight times in a drive-by.