Convicted felon President Trump’s minions ordered Secret Service agents to monitor former FBI Director James Comey’s location on a warrantless “exigency tracking” of his cell phone, justified by an “imminent threat to life or limb,” that supposedly existed when Comey drove home to Northern Virginia from North Carolina in May 2025 in the immediate aftermath of the “8647” seashells Instagram post, Politico reports as though the whole situation wasn’t fucking stupid enough.
It gets better than Team Orange acting as though Comey was going to storm the White House with an AR-15: FBI agents were ordered to pore over Bureau records to find any and every reference to find out that Comey “knew” that “86” means “kill” in mafia parlance, something nobody actually “knows” and – surprise! – they couldn’t find shit so they interviewed Sammy “The Bull” Gravano. The once-famous turncoat told them that mobsters would never actually use “86” in conversation because it would be too obvious, so really the case is that Comey is both stupid and nefarious.