“Ranchers and Farmers have always been a number one priority for me. They work very hard, are smart, efficient, and immaculately CLEAN, but for years I have heard that they have had a tremendous problem with the Big Processors, who many say are a nasty Monopoly. There are, essentially, 4 of them, a very non competitive number, and they make life miserable for our wonderful Farmers and Ranchers, and I can’t let that happen, can I? So, in order to break this powerful monopoly, with much of its ownership based outside of the US, I am authorizing legal documents to be drawn in order to allow Farmers and Ranchers to be given the right to PROCESS THEIR OWN FOOD. This should move quickly,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday.

The economics of this declaration might best be explained this way: Trump’s new directive is the equivalent of him trying to bust Starlink’s abusive monopoly over rural internet users by authorizing Nebraska ISP “Dialup 4 Less” to construct and launch into orbit its own network of dozens of $100 million+ satellites to provide MAGAmericans with speeds significantly higher than the 56k their telephone wire-based service currently does. All they gotta do is invent their own fleet of autonomous launch vehicles capable of landing upright after releasing the payload into orbit.

Or when the Trump boys claimed their T1 phone would be made in the United States. That’s actually probably a little closer to what it means for Trump to declare that ranchers can process beef on-site, as actually standing up the kind of infrastructure needed to slaughter cattle and produce meat on the kinds of scales required is like Eric and Don Jr saying they can just do what FoxConn does.