Four hundred years ago, a group of white people decided they were over this shit. The pilgrims knew they were cooler and edgier than the rest of the English with their stuffy Anglican faith and monarchic system of government. So they got the fuck out of there and headed for a non-white neighborhood with dirt cheap real estate values. Very quickly, the trendsters imposed their decidedly bougie lifestyle on the Plymouth Rock area, planting their non-GMO crops, building their cabins from responsibly-sourced wood, and consuming free range turkey, organic bread, and bog-grown cranberries. The whole experience just oozed with authenticity. They went out of their way to invite their new non-white friends to dinner as a paean to their multicultural values.
Sure, you could say they were religious zealots, but come on, everyone was back then. In every other respect, the Pilgrims were the original gentrifiers and thus forerunners to today’s upwardly mobile, culturally conscious bicoastal libtards. So the next time you enjoy your free trade cold brew coffee or $16.99 plate of smoked gouda mac and cheese, give thanks to your Caucasian forebears.