Villages, Florida woman Ievgeniia Pinchuk, 21, was arrested at approximately 10:00 pm Tuesday for driving under the influence after she left her 2003 Honda Civic parked in the railroad crossing on Main Street in the nearby town of Bushnell, which promptly resulted in the car being smashed by a southbound CSX freight train, Villages-News.com reports. Pinchuk was apprehended on foot in the area by Florida Highway Patrol officers, who also ticketed her for illegally parking on the tracks.
This story faced tough competition in the Villages crime aggregation game, most notably from the 52 year-old resident who was arrested for throwing a Christmas tree at his wife during an argument over cooking dinner. The tree reportedly broke in half, but it’s unclear if it is a fake one that could be simply reassembled or if it’s a goner. Other strong contenders would include the 64 year-old woman arrested for shoplifting “potato chips, Tostitos Scoops, cinnamon muffins, cheesecake, Bic lighters, pistachios and beef sticks” from a local Walmart, the 74 year-old woman arrested for hitting her 79 year-old male companion over the head with a wine bottle, or the post-trivia night golf cart DUI arrest of a 63 year-old Villages man. Despite its lengthy absence from National Zero we still don’t want to overplay coverage of the vast, dystopian retirement community’s effectively limitless supply of stupid crime stories, particularly if it only really comes from one site upstream.