“On Tuesday afternoon at about 4:00 pm the Stanton County Sheriff’s office responded to a report of a suspicious vehicle just northwest of the main Wood Duck Recreation Area that is located about three miles southwest of Stanton. The vehicle was located in a field and while having contact with the two males it was determined that they had a dead North American Bald Eagle in their possession. Further investigation revealed that the two had shot and killed the protected national bird in that area and stated they planned on cooking and eating the bird.”

“Nebraska Game and Parks was contacted and took custody of the eagle and the rifle used to kill the eagle. Two Honduran nationals, Ramiro Hernandez-Tziquin, 20 and Domingo Zetino-Hernandez, 20, both of Norfolk were cited for unlawful possession of the eagle. Hernandez-Tziquin was also cited for having No Drivers License. More serious charges are possible as the investigation into the unlawful killing continues,” says a press release from the Stanton County, Nebraska Sheriff’s Office.

That’s the Fox News-iest thing ever. How the hell have they not gotten on this story yet? We just checked and the only Google results for “Stanton County Sheriff” from FoxNews.com are three older reports about tornadoes hitting the area between 2015 and 2018. Can you get any more of a literal representation of the story they’ve been selling for years about a “border invasion” than two probably illegal Honduran immigrants killing an American bald eagle and trying to eat it?