Cops in the town of Silt, Colorado confirmed to the Daily Beast on Sunday there’s an “active investigation” after convicted weenie wagger Jayson Boebert reported his dumbass ex-wife Congresswoman Lauren Boebert for assaulting him publicly in a restaurant on Saturday night.

An aide to the “Little Bitch” tells the Beast it was a multi-episode drama starting when Lauren came by to pick up one of their boys from her ex-husband’s house. Jayson moved in for a hug (maybe hoping for a tug) to which Lauren shoved him back in the chest and left in a huff.

Jayson called to make amends, asking Lauren to meet again. She agreed but, per an aide, stipulated it had to be in a public place, picking a joint in Silt called the Miner’s Claim. From here the accounts differ, with American Muckrakers – the outfit that got jammed up on the “hooker” story – saying one thing in a series of tweets and aides to Boebert telling the Beast differently.

The Muckrackers say Lauren punched Jayson in the nose twice and her name was heard in the response report on the police scanner. Lauren Boebert’s aide says Jayson was “being disrespectful,” “being an asshole,” and getting “lewd,” with his Congresswoman ex-wife whose revulsion prompted an “aggressive move, not romantic” for her. Lauren then “put her hand in his face, put her hand on his nose,” per the aide, which sounds awful damage control-y considering Lauren was well within her rights to punch her ex-husband in the face if he had indeed grabbed her non-consensually.

The aide tells the Beast that Jayson then called the cops to report that he was “a victim of domestic violence.” Shortly after that Lauren called too to tell them there was no domestic violence, and that she’d be happy to speak with an officer at the joint. Reached by the Beast on Sunday morning, Jayson would neither confirm nor deny the incident, offering only “I don’t know what to say.”

UPDATE 1/7/2024 1:55 PM EDT: Jayson called the Beast’s Roger Sollenberger to confirm the Muckrakers’ reporting that Lauren had indeed punched him in the face “several times” and he had a witness to back that up. He also said he’s going to ask the cops to drop the investigation because he believes that would be best for them and their multigenerational white trash family.