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- Shockingly backtracking on a campaign promise, the elected rapist now says lowering consumer prices will be “very hard” and might not be possible. Well, no fucking duh. It’s even harder when you start a trade war, ya numbnut.
- Kimberly Giulfoyle’s going to be the US Ambassador to Greece, a country she once described as “freeloaders,” because there’s not enough plastic surgery to stop someone from being a prototypical “ugly American” overseas.
- It’s time to implement a Presidential Runoff Election in states. Take it down to two candidates for the November race. It won’t impact the Constitution’s Electoral College, but eliminating all but the top two candidates from the final presidential ballot on the state level will ensure the leader of the nation gets the support of voters and it’s not decided by third-party cast-offs and other clowns who effectively only erode votes. (It’s also the best way to get a third-party candidate on the final ballot in some states like Oregon and Vermont.)
- With Pete Hegseth at the helm, the victims of the 35,000 rapes that happen in the military each year can be assured their attackers will never have to face justice. The ranks reflect its leadership.
- In six months, the hypocrisy of Joe Biden pardoning his son will seem quaint.
- Little understood in the Assad takedown in Syria is that Assad was one of the key illicit drug suppliers in the Middle East, producing and distributing billions of dollars of the synthetic amphetamine Captagon each year. His neighbors finally got sick of the drug dealer next door.
- Observe a horologist–a watch- or clockmaker–at work and you might think they’re a musician, tuning the cogs and gears to be in rhythm with time. It’s an orchestra of engineering, an art that’s millennia-old.
- Nancy Mace’s dramatics are spot on for modern conservatives: Words of opposition cause an assault. What a freakin’ snowflake.
- Deviled eggs are the most eggy of eggs. They are literally egg-stuffed eggs. And they are delicious.
- Four categories of holiday gifts: play, wear, relax, and learn/work. There is a fifth one: clue. Like when you give someone an air freshener or a car vac. That’s not a gift; that’s a message.
- I’m concerned the first radio signal from Earth an alien intelligence can decode will be a Mountain Dew commercial.
- Fun fact: clockmakers will sometimes leave notes in clocks they’ve worked on in the past, particularly old grandfather clocks. If you have a clock that’s been handed down over generations, you might find a repairer’s comment that the clock is haunted or nothing but trouble.
- We already purchased our 2025 wall calendar. It features cows, because “Moo” seems to be as appropriate a slogan for next year as any.
- Most Americans can’t name a variety of banana or orange, but there are zealots for specific kinds of apples and if you say anything but honeycrisp I will cut a bitch.
- If you’re hiring a company to design the light decorations on your house, you’ve lost the spirit of the season. Stick to the simple window lights and give the money to a charity.
- Lemon Oreos are still the best Oreos.
- And now, the Random Thoughts Finale. After roughly 3,500 bullet points, RtF comes to its conclusion, as does my time with National Zero. Thank you for your attention and your input, your LOLs and your wit. It has been a pleasure.
