Funding bill dead

“Pretty sure I watched a House member go up to a hand sanitizer station, get a pump and then rub it over his face And still, not the weirdest thing I’ve seen up here,” tweeted Politico Congress reporter Olivia Beavers just minutes after she posted that the House will not be voting on the continuing resolution to fund the government until March on Wednesday.

Pornhub pulling out of Florida

“He’s just learning about it… He’s just reading about it”

Donald and Jaydee command Republicans to sink funding

Foreign oligarch declares victory over American governance

Newsom declares emergency over H5N1

Mike Johnson could get Kevin McCarthyed

Comer cornered into feigning concern over Trump corruption

Michigan man “attempted to conduct a mass killing of individuals at a political party headquarters and a nearby bar”: DOJ press release

Flesh-eating ground squirrels discovered in California

Republicans now have two maniacal overlords to answer for

New app lets homebuyers see neighbors’ politics

House Ethics votes to release Gaetz report

Co-president vetoes government funding

Ghana Supreme Court greenlights “Don’t Be Gay” bill

“My Tennessee property is a drone-free zone”

Fat idiot still won’t let this Canada annexation thing go

Indiana man crossed off state’s naughty list

Now, my story begins in Nineteen-Dickety-Nine…

Herschel Walker named Ambassador to Bahamas

Maine truck driver cited for unsecured cows

McCaul feels like “drones” are coming from China, cites no evidence

QAdulteress vows to take matters into her own paws

Luigi Mangione indicted for First Degree Murder in Manhattan

Too soon, or she can’t talk about it because Christian school, or something that makes it not okay for Kamala Harris to say this

Team Orange now claiming “juror misconduct” in Manhattan trial

Patriot Front banner removed from building set for demolition

Beta GOP Congressman stutters semi-angrily at Mike Johnson

Biden backs ban on stock trades for members of Congress

Sherrod Brown says he’s delivering last speech of “this session”

These aren’t the drones you’re looking for

House GOP releases final report on investigation of Jan 6th Select Committee investigation, recommends Liz Cheney face charges

Orange Warlord sues Ann Selzer, Des Moines Register over poll

Why you shouldn’t try to shoot down a bear

Ukrainians cancel top Russian general in Moscow

Look who still isn’t in prison yet

California man gets 41 months for running 14th Amendment hotel

Merchan tosses Trump immunity claim

Gerry Connolly beats AOC for top Oversight spot

More than a third of Americans don’t have a favorite dinosaur: poll

MAGA Land now says paying more for shit is a patriotic virtue

Trudeau thinking about resigning: report

Jared Moskowitz considering taking FEMA job in Trump Admin

Shooter dead, multiple injured at Christian school in Wisconsin

Orange Caesar calls Xi “an amazing guy”

British researchers say it’s certainly possible Bronze Age cannibal massacre was more “ritualistic” than full-on feast of human flesh

German government collapses

Freedom Caucasian warns ChiComs could be sending the drones

News from the Great Dismal Swamp fittingly depressing and murky

“Why you shouldn’t try to shoot down a suspected drone”