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Cigna tells shark attack victim to fuck off on bill for prosthetic arm

Facing increased personal protections costs borne by policy holders, the American health insurance industry’s leaders are apparently feeling secure enough to continue doing what got their dude blasted by Lone Wolf Luigi last month, as the New York Post reports a 51 year-old Virginia mom who got her left arm ripped off by a shark does not need a $73,000 myoelectric prosthetic replacement.

“This was certainly one of the lowest points of this entire experience I’ve had,” former Starbucks barista Elisabeth Foley, who obviously needs two hands to work, said. “It’s insane and so frustrating, because I paid for health insurance my entire life, and had the healthiest life, so I barely used it. But I need their help now, and they won’t help me.” Last June Foley was in the water off Sound Beach, Florida when a shark tried to charge her an arm and a leg for entering its territory. It got one.

Cigna got both, cruelly and cuntishly denying her. Luckily strangers stepped up through America’s actual single-payer healthcare system, GoFundMe, and enough was raised since the denial in October for Foley to purchase the new arm out of others’ pockets. “While many of our health plans cover a number of prosthetic options, we are evaluating benefit updates to help expand coverage of advanced prosthetics for more people,” Cigna said in a meaningless statement to the Post.

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