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Greg Abbott announces he’s going full-pole on Inauguration Day

“Governor Greg Abbott today ordered all flags to be raised to full-staff at the Texas Capitol and all state buildings on January 20, 2025, in honor of Inauguration Day. Pursuant to federal statute, the US flag should be displayed ‘especially on… Inauguration Day, January 20,'” says Texas Governor Greg Abbot in a statement announcing his flagpoles will stand tall and strong next Monday.

“‘Texas continues to mourn with our fellow Americans across the country over the passing of former President Jimmy Carter,’ said Governor Abbott. ‘President Carter’s steadfast leadership left a lasting legacy that will be felt for generations to come, which together as a nation we honor by displaying flags at half-staff for 30 days. On January 20, our great nation will celebrate our democratic tradition of transferring power to a new President by inaugurating the 47th President of the United States, Donald J Trump. As we unite our country and usher in this new era of leadership, I ordered all flags to be raised to full-staff at the Texas Capitol and all state buildings for the inauguration of President Trump. While we honor the service of a former President, we must also celebrate the service of an incoming President and the bright future ahead for the United States of America.'”

This isn’t an erection joke because, as a paraplegic, it’s impossible for Abbott to achieve one. The order is however kind of a symbolic hard-on and clearly Abbot’s direct response to the convicted felon president-elect’s tantrum over the flags being lowered in honor of Jimmy Carter’s memory.

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