ChiComs considering selling TikTok to Ketamine Brain

The Chinese Communist party’s overlords are considering selling their precious social media app TikTok to ketamine-brained billionaire Elon Musk if the US forces them to offload it, figuring he would be a trustworthy propaganda partner and better than shutting it down, Bloomberg reports.

Movie Night Friday: Darkest Hour and The Darkest Hour

Judge orders former president arrested for sexually abusing minor

Inauguration tickets now “commemorative”

“What’s a Soup Drop? Well, it’s soup you can suck on, of course!”

CBS considering settling with Trump in Harris interview lawsuit

She probably isn’t dressed warm enough for the National Mall

Comer writes Jerry Nadler smells like shit

Witch hunt underway after German “Corona rebel” candidate claims he was savagely beaten by members of ancient witch cult

Team Orange moves inauguration indoors

WATCH LIVE: Dog murderer’s confirmation hearing to lead DHS

Ohio Lt Governor Jon Husted to replace JD Vance in Senate

Senate passes Laken Riley act

Supreme Court upholds TikTok ban

Mandarin Madman self-debriefs on Chicom manipulation session

ChiCom buyers switch to Brazilian soybeans ahead of Trump return

BREAKING NEWS: Complete worm considering finding new job

House Republican anonymously calls Budget chairman a child

Hunter Biden’s paintings go up in flames: report

Orange Felon demands FBI preserve documents on DEI office

MAGA Land extolls the virtues of requiring ID for internet porn

Midwest MAGA secessionists making noises about county swaps

New York Post reports new whistleblower alleging Biden allowed unauthorized aliens access to top-secret military bases

Former Georgia election workers settle with Rudy

Bolsonaro doesn’t need Viagra anymore after Trump DC invite

MAGA incel Georgia state senator tossed and arrested

Welsh Bitcoin loser thinks Trump can intervene in case

Rudy ghosts hearing in Freeman-Moss lawsuit

“Southern border communities are regaining a sense of normalcy”

Nancy Pelosi staying warm on Monday

DeSantis appoints AG Ashley Moody to replace Rubio

WATCH LIVE: Four more confirmation hearings

Canadian misses out on being first confirmed death by meteor

Stephen Miller says “light speed” mass deportations start Monday

Breitbart reports anonymous accusation suspicious in this instance

Newsom to go full-pole on Monday, for obvious reasons

Netanyahu regime says vote on deal held up

Thai leader says she got an AI scam call mimicking “world leader”

Treasury busts Russians for evading sanctions

WATCH LIVE: Biden’s farewell address

Rats getting high as fuck in Houston PD evidence room

Mike Johnson fires “RINO” House Intel chair

WATCH LIVE: Don Jr shares theories with UFO experts

Virginia cop fired after prostitute named “Dream” steals his car

NYPD ordered to cut back on car chases

Fox News reports Justine Bateman calling for Newsom’s removal

Donald pushing “Da Vek” to “take” Ohio Senate seat

Israel and Hamas reach ceasefire deal

Orange Overlord orders all windmill construction ceased

Friday is Free Tree Day for 1,000 Duke Energy ratepayers

“He’s going to do what he wants, what the base wants”