Pope Francis, the overlord of all Catholics, is in “critical condition,” the AP reports, citing Vatican officials who are no doubt already plotting to install one of the Borgias or some other malefactor.
“The Holy Father continues to be alert and spent the day in an armchair although in more pain than yesterday. At the moment the prognosis is reserved,” said the Vatican in a statement on the 88 year-old’s condition. Francis has been hospitalized for a the past week with a complex lung infection which got to the point of requiring a blood transfusion as he was showing symptoms of anemia.