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“What if he is arrested for real?”: House Republican on Cory Mills

In just a few words reacting to the latest of an increasingly lengthy string of clusterfucks surrounding Florida MAGA Congressman Cory Mills, an anonymous House Republican elegantly, succinctly, and unintentionally summarized to Politico the current state of their party’s moral values.

“What if he is arrested for real?” the Republican said in response to the latest allegations about Mills as this time he’s accused of sextorting one of his side pieces – Lindsey Langston, a Florida GOP state committee member and Miss United States 2024 – who broke it off in February when she saw reporting on the 45 year-old Mills assaulting his other Gen Z-aged girlfriend Sarah Raviani.

Oh and Mills threatened to kill any other man she dated. And he just got evicted. And he’s suspected of valor theft. And he’s kind of secretly a Muslim even if he didn’t convert on purpose. And he’s been grifting on federal contracts while in office. All that has a fellow MAGA Republican worried that Mills could end up getting criminally charged and jeopardize his Trump +12 seat in next year’s midterms.

It’s not that this anonymous congressman or woman is worried that they serve next to a manipulative woman abusing stalker sociopath with an inflated Army service record and at least $99,000 in debt (almost certainly a lowball figure). It’s that the next time he fucks up it might be so egregious and indefensible that Jeannine Pirro could have no choice but to actually sign the arrest warrant and making it harder for him to run. That’s where the party’s priorities are at these days.

Now this isn’t to cast doubt on Langston’s story – she brought the receipts – so much as maybe kind of question her choice of representation in landing the restraining order against Mills:

Yeah. Anthony Sabatini. By far the most National Zero famous of any current or former state lawmaker, beating Wendy Rogers by miles. It’d be improper to imply that Sabatini has a personal vendetta against Mills… because he absolutely has a personal vendetta against Mills.

By early 2022 then-state Representative Sabatini seemed on a glide path to the nomination for Florida’s 7th District, newly redrawn to be far redder than Dem Stephanie Murphy could withstand, with Tony racking up an absolute shit ton of endorsements from some of the heaviest hitters in the MAGAverse: Marjorie Taylor Greene, Mike Flynn, Matt Gaetz, Charlie Kirk, Roger Stone, Lauren Boebert, Paul Gosar, Madison Cawthorn, and – naturally – Wendy Rogers.

All that was missing was the heaviest hitter: convicted felon President Trump. What exactly happened was unclear but it seems Kevin McCarthy sandbagged Sabatini, putting $10 million behind Mills and successfully persuading Trump to stay out of the primary rather than endorse a guy who had a productive 2021 by introducing bill to rename a highway after the Orange God Emperor and another to audit the 2020 election in a state Trump had won by 5 percent.

So yeah. Langston might want to find new counsel even if it may not definitely be a conflict of interest if your lawyer lost an election to the defendant. And thinks he’s secretly a Muslim.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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