Categories
Uncategorized

Lindell announces pact to manufacture Oath Keeper uniforms

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell has announced a groundbreaking agreement with the patriotic Oath Keepers group, a well-known personal security provider for Trump allies, in which MyPillow will create and produce uniforms for the group members.

“The Oath Keepers are a proud Christian group blessed by God, and we are honored they have chosen MyPillow to be their uniform supplier,” Mr. Lindell said in a statement.  “With our Giza cotton, the Oath Keepers will enjoy the softness and breathability as they work in their efforts to install President Donald Trump to his rightful place in the White House and protect VIPs like Roger Stone.”

Mr. Lindell said MyPillow will repurpose old sheets to make the Oath Keeper uniform, adding trimming to the edges to denote rank.  “With an excess of extreme soft, bright white cotton, the sheets rejected by our top-notch quality control spotters will be turned in to cloaks ideal for Oath Keeper functions and roomy enough to conceal even the largest assault rifle.”

Special headgear will also be made of the bright white Giza cotton, fashioned from discarded pillow cases.  “Our designers referred back to the heritage of the nation and the great cotton industry of the US of A to create a timeless look that will not only allow maximum visibility through two eye holes made with reinforced stitching around the edges, but coverage to prevent overexposure to the sun, protection from Deep State photographic identity devices and maximum breathability so teargas blocking goggles don’t fog up,” Mr. Lindell stated.

MyPillow will commit hundreds of thousands of dollars to its new Oath Keeper sportingwear line, which will be advertised exclusively on the Tucker Carlson program on Fox News.

“God has truly blessed us with this partnership,” Mr. Lindell said.  “Our new line of Oath Keeper cloaks and headgear are destined to be big sellers as more and more people see them in the light of the fire of Jesus’s name.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Iranians mark July 4th with state funeral for Ayatollah

4 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: America’s Hitler at Mount Rushmore

11 hours ago

Great American State Fair closed due to climate change hoax

21 hours ago

Black Floridian stands her ground in Walmart parking lot

1 day ago

Flagging enthusiasm

2 days ago

Former Olympian indicted for touching National Mall reflecting pool

2 days ago

House GOP leaks counter-investigation warning shot to Semafor

2 days ago

Naval aviator missing in Persian Gulf after chopper crash

3 days ago

Peace protestors celebrate King Kong’s historic achievement

3 days ago

Lame, derivative Bond villain has fucking meltdown on CNBC

3 days ago

Fat Hitler considers return to “all-out war” with Iran

3 days ago

Jaydee and Steve take decidedly different approaches to ruling

4 days ago

Birthright failure leads Trump back to Plan A, which will also fail

4 days ago

Seditious Sam retiring NPR fucks up

4 days ago

Supreme Court nukes Trump’s birthright citizenship order

4 days ago

First Amendment rights for dark money upheld

4 days ago

MIA Republican returns to Capitol, won’t answer questions

4 days ago

MAGA Congressman says Nawth Kawreans coming in via Canada

4 days ago

Paxton and Talarico tied in Texas: NYT/Siena poll

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Loser falls asleep some more

5 days ago

“This Case is really against the United States of America”

5 days ago

Los Supremos spike Trump bid to fire Fed Gov Lisa Cook

5 days ago

Supreme Court allows late mail-in ballots to count

5 days ago

Trump’s EJ Carroll overturn bid rejected by Supreme Court

5 days ago

Amy Acton 47 – Da Vek 44 in Ohio gov race: AARP poll

5 days ago

“The criminally made algae is gone”

6 days ago

Total RINO says US shouldn’t just deport scores of Haitians

6 days ago

Orange Ayatollah makes some more empty, impotent threats to Iran

7 days ago

MAGA Z-lister arrested for publicly spanking it at America 250 fest

7 days ago

Iranian drones hit Bahrain

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Cult and their Antichrist talk real about Biblical values

1 week ago

Crimea under state of emergency due to Ukrainian attacks

1 week ago

Trump retcons MAGA poll’s approval rating by 15 percent

1 week ago

Listen to Brainworms trying to bribe Libertarian out of Iowa race

1 week ago

Dem trails Republican by 1 percent in Stefanik’s Trump +20 district

1 week ago

John Bolton to plead guilty on Friday

1 week ago

SPOILER ALERT: The Iranians already said they ain’t buying shit

1 week ago

DC judge finds Trump regime violated Epstein files law

1 week ago

Jaydee asserts Watergate would not have taken down Trump

1 week ago

Iranians attack Singaporean cargo vessel

1 week ago

Crowd size now fun to lie about again

1 week ago

Rick Scott urges Americans to see past the facts and evidence

1 week ago

Supreme Court rules lower courts cannot block TPS revocations

1 week ago

Federal judge nukes Trump election executive order

1 week ago

Arizona food bank demand up 8 percent since last year

1 week ago

Seat of global power uses “mutilization” in official communication

1 week ago

Venezuela earthquake death toll at least 164

1 week ago

Orange God Emperor cancels landmark bill signing

1 week ago

Dan Sullivan sues to run against Dan Sullivan

2 weeks ago

MAGA Congressman assumes Trump has evidence of pool plot

2 weeks ago

x
x
x
x
x
x