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Random thoughts Friday, Volume XVII

  • Remember when Hunter Biden’s former business manager went on Fox News and claimed that he had evidence (which he has yet to disclose) that Biden was involved in underhanded dealings with foreign governments and then all the conservatives said Biden should be in jail and his father should be barred from holding public office?  Well now, we have a letter from Matt Gaetz’s pimp saying that he has evidence of Gaetz’s illegal acts and suddenly all the Republicans are like, “Well, we can’t do anything until all the facts are in and a court has ruled and stuff.”  So, what changed?
  • Now Joe Biden wants to come after my hamberders?  Or not?  The conservative propaganda memes are so confusing.
  • Actor Kirk Douglas’s widow died Friday at the age of 102.  He passed away last year at the age of 103.  That means Michael Douglas likely won’t pass away until 2079.
  • The legitimacy of “pocket pardons” by presidents–non-public pardons of individuals that can be invoked by recipients after the issuing president leaves office–needs to be canceled.  All pardons/commutations should be public and subject to public scrutiny.  
  • The de facto State of the Union address was pleasantly banal this year, but still full of important policy initiatives.  Biden’s isn’t the “transitional presidency” many expected it to be; it’s a transformational presidency.  
  • Is it really all that shocking that the child of a family that fetishes children has been arrested for sexually fetishes children?
  • I replaced and upgraded the RAM cards on my laptop today and I am unreasonably proud of my technical success.
  • It’s wrong to say Rudy Giuliani is a bad lawyer.  He’s not a lawyer anymore.  He’s a co-conspirator in a wide-spread corruption case.  He stopped functioning as a lawyer as soon as he stepped into a room with John Solomon, Derrick Henry, Victoria Toensing and Joe DiGenova to create a plot to attack Biden.
  • Mike Pence is trying to get his face out there for the 2024 GOP primary by going on a speaking tour–and not standing in front of beige walls.  He’s likely not going to get the Trump base, which called for his lynching nearly four months ago.
  • There’s a new movie called Roe v. Wade written from an anti-choice perspective.  It stars conservative actors Jon Voight, Stacey Dash, Joey Lawrence and Robert Davi–all of whom complained they can’t find work.  And, believe it or not, Tomi Lahren, the recently self-proclaimed heterosexual Milo Yiannopoulos and even MyPillow founder Mike Lindell have acting roles in it.  It sounds like the Must Miss Movie of the Summer.  
  • Top Five US television detectives (by entertainment value):  Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order), Columbo (Columbo), Phil Fish (Barney Miller), Joe Friday (Dragnet) and Ron Harris (Barney Miller).  Honorable Mention to Carl Kolshak, who was actually a newspaper reporter.  And the winner in the Canine Division is, obviously, Scooby Doo.
  • Tim Scott continues an ignoble succession of Republicans responding to State of the Union (Yes, yes:  I know it wasn’t really a SOTU) address whose career prospects within the GOP dried up shortly thereafter.
  • Our dog has a 100% track record of barking at people at the front door and prompting them to drop packages before they scurry away for fear of his ferociousness.  It is a streak he does not intend to break…unless it’s naptime.  Naptime deliveries should be rescheduled when possible. 
  • The secret to a well-constructed hamberder hamburger:  put the lettuce under the burger.  It prevents the grease from soaking into the bun, making it break up as you eat it.  And let the burger rest for a minute or two before the first bite; just like a steak, you want the juices to redistribute. 
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