Ayatollah asks for your thoughts and prayers

https://twitter.com/khamenei_ir/status/1390016838801690628

Despite the lack of a blue check, evidently this is indeed legitimately the English-language account of Iran’s supreme leader and not some parody troll like the DPRK News Service, so unless this is a mistranslation – which it could be – it sure sounds like Ass-a-holla is in bad shape.

Disrespectful Iranian punks just letting the calls go to voicemail

Regime to release 70 hours of Biden convos with ghostwriter

Energy Suckretary made to walk back previous cheap gas call

Iowans attending Jaydee rally were paid $100 each

Tyler Robinson trial to be televised

WATCH LIVE: Orange Corpse makes everyone feel worse

Virginia Supreme Court overturns redistricting referendum

Regime releases 162 boring UFO files

John Solomon reports K$H just swinging for the fences now

Labour takes a savage beating in local UK elections

Comey tries to duck next court appearance

“That bitch”

US bombs Iranian port but war totally not starting again

Mike Huckabee deeply disappointed in his manchildhood hero

Lula leaves White House without scheduled joint media hit

Chinese oil tanker hit by Iranian fire in Strait of Hormuz

Supreme Court to testify at Senate hearing on May 20th

Lower-profile MAGA outlet airs the rage porn Fox News won’t

Karoline, grandfatherly-aged husband welcome baby girl

The Brainworm turns

Orange Karen screams for Jeffries to be charged

Raisin-textured man confronted with dismal MSM poll on Newsmax

Average gas price increase inches toward price Trump promised

Tim Scott says he thinks “there is a good chance that we will be able to expand the majority if everything goes our way”

President Trump forcefully counters narrative of him as nearly dead

Israel still bombing Gaza

Concern Lady admits to neurological condition

Orange Fuhrer claims Pope wants Iran to have a nuclear weapon

WATCH LIVE: Robo-wife and Catheter Cushion play pretend

Reich FBI raids Virginia state senate president’s offices

Ted Turner has died

K$H launches witch hunt to find out who “lied” about him

Fox News reports vice president has gone completely woke

Insecure tyrant unwilling to commit to false victory narrative

Jesus Trump post’s approval rating could use some work

Howard Nutlick has rough morning of testimony ahead

Wall Street Journal reports OpenAI suppressing truth about goblins

Putsch fails

Unstable man’s mood swings again

Regime DEI purge missed wannabe Trump assassin at FAA

“Presidential fitness” to be said with a straight face: Watch live

Putsch aims to topple Ramaswamy in Ohio

Trade deficit increase quantifies Trump failure on his own terms

WATCH LIVE: Boozebreath and General Tendies battle media

US sends Iran a message by blowing up boat in Carribbean

One more cringey misappropriation of Star Wars for the road…

MAGA Congressman Chuck Edwards likes his staffers young

The words “Biden” and “Buttigieg” absent from Spirit’s bankruptcy

WATCH LIVE: Trump another day closer to death

Cranky old asshole a little late on the “fact check” on ABC News