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“Republicans probably paid ISIS to attack US troops in Kabul” is what we would report if we were more like a right wing news site

Fox News reports Senator Marsha “Life Coach” Blackburn, Former UN Ambassador Nimrata Haley, and a litany of other Republican Party figures have called for Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Mark Milley, Lloyd Austin, and Antony Blinken to resign over the ISIS terrorist attack in Kabul, Afghanistan that killed at least 12 US soldiers, Marines, and sailors on Thursday. Now, even in our current environment of constant degradation of what used to be at least public-facing veneer of political civility, that’s a pretty ballsy thing to say and as such calls for an even harsher reaction. However, given our personal circumspection, we’re going to have to frame it as a hypothetical.

That the attack was probably planned by Blackburn and Nimrata themselves to delegitimize the Biden Administration, is what we would report if we had the same lack of character and decency as a right wing news site. We would not have any evidence of this claim, but it wouldn’t matter because it would feel true. We’d probably cite some secret, “high-level” source in the US intel community that doesn’t exist or – even better – channel some Chinese propaganda farm’s bullshit into our article as if it were stated fact. Then we’d call for Blackburn and Nimrata to be investigated by the FBI for links to foreign terror groups since they’ve hated the Biden Administration since day one, they never gave him a chance. They’re just trying to overturn the result of the 2020 election.

But that’s not who we are. Plus there isn’t really a market for that sort of thing these days. Center-left readers don’t really like thinly-sourced conspiracy theory bullshit, even if we were to say we were “just asking questions” about who benefitted politically from such an attack.

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