Like his fictional counterpart Darth Vader did to Imperial officers every time they fucked something up, Vladimir Putin is reportedly punishing his lieutenants for their failures to deliver victory in Ukraine, as both the head of the Federal Security Bureau’s intel division Sergey Beseda and his deputy Anatoly Bolyukh were placed under house arrest Friday, per the Daily Mail.
The FSB agents’ alleged transgressions include telling Putin that Ukraine would be steamrolled easily prior to the invasion and embezzling money from the agency’s budget which is funny because wow, they were being normal supplicants by telling Putin what he wanted to hear rather than an honest assessment and since when is stealing from public funds a crime in Russia, lol. Separately, Putin reportedly fired eight high ranking military officers on Friday, but it’s a safe bet that simply having to look for another paycheck might be the least of their worries.