A Brandonian hailing from the utopian MAGA community of Brandon, Florida, was arrested Sunday on charges of false imprisonment of a minor and child abuse after a churchgoer noticed 37 year old Brandonite David Daniels hovering creepily around two nervous looking girls, Fox 13 Tampa reports. “One of the little girls was mouthing to me, ‘Please help me, this is not my dad,'” said the woman.
Daniels had reportedly followed the two girls after he’d noticed them biking down the street past a bar, deciding he was going to “walk them home”. The Brandonite also apparently hit at least one of the two girls and put one of them in a headlock, though it’s not clear who had witnessed this. The concerned woman called 911 and Hillsborough County Sheriff’s deputies responded placing Daniels under arrest. “Let’s Go Brandonite… to jail!” the deputies may or may not have said to hearty laughter after cuffing the vile pederast. That kind of humor would’ve been very on-brand!