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Venezuela earthquake death toll at least 164

At least 164 people are dead and over 971 injured following a quick succession of a 7.2 and 7.5-magnitude earthquakes that struck 40 seconds and a few miles apart along a fault complex in Yaracuy State, Venezuela just outside of the capital city of Caracas on Wednesday, CNN reports.

The toll is expected to rise given the intensity, shallow depth of the epicenters – 14 and six miles of the two quakes – and vast spread of the damage across the socialist country.

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Dan Sullivan sues to run against Dan Sullivan

Rogue Republican Senate candidate Dan Sullivan’s legal team this week sued the state Division of Elections seeking to nullify the decision to ban him from the ballot through a spurious declaration of his intent, the Los Angeles Times reports. “Nothing in Alaska law regulates in any way the private motivations that draw individuals to declare or campaign for office,” says the complaint and even though it’s obvious that he’s trying to sandbag incumbent Senator Dan Sullivan, they have a point.

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MAGA Congressman assumes Trump has evidence of pool plot

Hours after this appearance, the Orange God Emperor insinuated he has evidence, posting “Six people have been arrested, and seven people have been cited, for the damage they did to our Country’s now beautiful Reflecting Pool. The 350 foot gash, made by a very sharp knife or razors, is actually numerous slashes over a very long 350 foot length. It was purposefully and criminally done, and somebody had to work very hard, probably in the dark of night, to create such a condition.”

“Likewise, the small area at the bottom of the Pool was cut and powerfully lifted off the surface leaving very jagged, uneven edges. The large areas of grass are being replaced. In any event, even prior to fixing those areas, the Reflecting Pool is as beautiful as it can be. We will drain some of the water, either immediately before or after the Fourth of July, to do the permanent repair.”

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UK cuffs thousands with alcohol ankle monitors during World Cup

A statement from the British Ministry of Justice issued on Friday announced that “Statistics show that around 7,300 criminals either released from prison or serving a community sentence will be forced to wear alcohol tags at some point during” the World Cup. “The innovative tags work around the clock and quickly detect if an offender has been drinking by analysing their sweat. If an offender dares to have a drink, an alert is sent to their probation officer who can take action to punish them, such as an order to return to court or even prison. The tags are accurate enough to distinguish between those simply soaking up the atmosphere at pubs and fan zones where alcohol is present, and those risking a red card by actively drinking. The move comes as police forces and local authorities prepare for increased demand during the tournament, with alcohol often linked to incidents of violence, anti-social behaviour and disorder around major football fixtures,”

“It is expected that around 7,300 offenders will wear an alcohol tag at some point during the World Cup, with around 5,000 already fitted with a tag when the tournament started and a further 2,300 expected to receive new orders,” the cruelest, most dastardly part of the announcement read.

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Amphibians do eat algae, so maybe Trump’s onto something here

Yeah, maybe the headline’s a little too gentle but holy fucking shit this is one of those times when it’s simply too hard to respond proportionately to this level of batshittery. Like if the fat bastard had just left it at “Here is another example of a crazy pro-algae (likely paid) protestor,” then it’d be out of character for him to be sorta poking fun at himself a little tiny bit – and yet such levity would still be an adequate enough explanation. It’s not like he’s never self-deprecated, if much gentler than this.

The “The sign says, ‘First they came for the algae…’ which is in reference to a famous post-WW2 statement about Germans not speaking out against the Nazis: ‘…then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me,'” is not self-satire. That’s Trump being seriously “offended” and very much on-brand given his very well-documented love of messianic blasphemy and iconoclasm. This is real Trump.

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Cocaine Mitch’s staff insists he’s still alive

Responding to questions from reporters about whether he still has a pulse or has finally joined his lord and savior Satan, former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s staff tells CNN’s Manu Raju that old turtle face “is still working closely with staff on Senate business and Kentucky matters as he continues his recovery [from an unspecified ailment]. However, he will not be voting this week.”

If he dies the dem Kentucky Gov Andy Beshear can appoint a replacement. Yes, Mitch McConnell himself lobbied the Republicans in the state legislature to pass a law removing the governor’s power to appoint a replacement of a different party than the incumbent, but let’s see that get tested in court. He could also just refuse to appoint a replacement, just like Mitch did when Scalia died.

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Axios reports Maine Dems have a growing mess on their hands

“House Democrats’ campaign arm and main super PAC are stopping short of saying they will go all-in to hold onto Maine’s lone swing district after failing to get their preferred nominee. This new headache comes as Democratic leaders were already grappling with the never-ending firestorm around Senate nominee Graham Platner,” writes top Disarray™ manufacturer Axios on Monday.

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Federal judge nukes Regime subpoenas to Walk, Frey, Ellison

Minnesota federal Judge Patrick Schiltz on Monday quashed the Trump Regime’s subpoenas to Gov Tim Walz, Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, Attorney General Keith Ellison and others, finding that the Reich’s DOJ “is not conducting a criminal investigation, but is instead using the grand jury process for other (unlawful) purposes. In addition, those on whom the subpoenas were served – as well as those who appear to be the targets of the Department’s misuse of the grand-jury process – want this matter disclosed. Finally, the public has a very strong interest in learning of this abuse of the grand-jury process by the Department,” handing yet another L to the fat fuck’s “fraud” crusade.

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Detroit transit safety officer fired for complaining about bus driver effing supervisor on job, other top official drunkenly chasing pigeon

Now-former Detroit Department of Transportation chief safety officer Corie Holmes is suing the city, alleging a retaliatory termination for “misrepresentation of authority” for investigating a number of incidents that, as described in a Detroit Free Press column, are not necessarily “safety” issues. Like when bus system supervisor Andre Reece said “Why are you tryin’ to squeeze tight? Just let it go” and “I bet I can make it jiggle,” to driver Dayna Ruff while grabbing her ass as the two were making out in the front of a parked city bus, well, the bus was parked safely on the side of a street.

They weren’t trading pics of their genitals while Ruff was driving with passengers on board, so that’s outside of a safety officer’s jurisdiction. Same goes for the $300,000 no-bid contract for IT services by “Total Care Restoration,” a company with no experience whatsoever in the IT sector and almost certainly didn’t render any actual services for the automated people-mover system. If they didn’t write a single line of code to run the system then how could that have been a safety issue?

Now the January 23rd late night incident involving now-also-fired DOT Chief of Staff Jennie Whitfield is a closer call since she did create a safety hazard by throwing a glass bottle at a pigeon during a drunken tirade at the Rosa Parks Bus Station and then claimed she was simply pressure testing security personnel’s response. Yet even though Whitfield was eventually fired, Holmes was repeatedly told he was exceeding his remit by flagging the deranged Friday night meltdown by his superior, and that insubordination proved to be the final nail in the coffin of his time at the agency.

Put together it’s an important lesson to those who aspire to answer the call of public service: Just look busy instead of actually trying to make a difference in the workplace, however small.

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Comer still dumber than the sow he lost his virginity to in 1989

You haven’t heard much from House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer in a while and if you ever considered his relative silence in the media as possibly a period of introspection and self-improvement to stop saying dumb shit well here he is to prove you wrong as he’s calling for every one of former President Joe Biden’s pardons to be voided. Lucky for him and his party that’s not going to happen since, well, that’d be an incredibly fucking stupid precedent for them to set – and just to merely see 86 year-old Dr Anthony Fauci prosecuted for some not-vert-well-defined offenses that would still have to get past a jury. That sure would suck for Trump’s cronies.

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Dem leads Iowa Senate race 47 to 45 percent: poll

“Josh Turek leads Iowa’s Senate race despite the state’s strong Republican advantage. Today, Turek leads Hinson by 2 points (47 percent to 45 percent) in a highly competitive Senate race despite Iowa’s heavily Republican electorate. Republicans hold a 10-point advantage in voter registration (42 percent Rep to 32 percent Dem), a 9-point advantage on partisan self-ID (37 percent Rep to 28 percent Dem), and this electorate voted for Trump by 9 points (50 percent Trump to 41 percent Harris). However, a generic Republican for Senate leads a generic Democrat by just 2 points (47 percent to 45 percent), and Turek is outperforming both the partisan dynamics and a generic Democrat in his lead over Hinson,” says a Politico/Global Strategy Group poll of the Corn-filled state.

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Fox News reports they got her now

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Heard and McDonald Island’s baby seals clubbed hard by bird flu

“The team has submitted its findings about mortality levels and the virus’s likely pathway to Heard Island to a scientific journal for consideration. Heard Island and McDonald Islands are an Australian external territory located in the Southern Ocean, about 4,000 km SW of mainland Australia. Samples from nine vertebrate species were tested at CSIRO’s Australian Centre for Disease Preparedness, with six species testing positive for the viral strain that has been spreading globally. These included southern elephant seal, king penguin, gentoo penguin, Antarctic fur seal and South Georgia diving petrel. Analysis of drone surveys taken on two voyages in October 2025 and January 2026 reveal very high mortality in southern elephant seal pups and elevated mortality in king and gentoo penguins. Analysis of data collected in October estimated average pup mortality was 76 per cent in the final surveys and as high as 97 per cent in one area. Total pup production was estimated at around 17,000 and island-wide mortality was estimated at around 13,000 pups on Heard Island.”

“By January 2026, widespread elephant seal pup mortality was detected in all surveyed breeding areas, including evidence of mortality at McDonald Island (by drone survey). However, due to the remoteness and protected status, no on-ground sampling was undertaken, meaning laboratory confirmation was not possible,” says a press release from the Australian Antarctic Program.

Definitely the worst thing to happen to the remote and unihabited rocks since convicted felon President Trump imposed a 10 percent tariff on their completely non-existent exports last year.

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President to sue treasonous criminals

“The way the Corrupt and Failing New York Times is covering stories on a very battered and beat up Iran, through FAKE AND MADE UP ‘FACTS’ is, in my opinion, ‘TREASONOUS.’ I will be adding all of their false and ridiculous reporting to my multi Billion Dollar lawsuit against them. They are Criminals!” posted the President of the United States on Sunday. Shouldn’t treason be prosecuted?

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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