Kansas MAGA Senator Roger Marshall was upbeat and optimistic Tuesday morning, telling Fox News’s Maria Bartiromo that people just feeling better about the economy back home in his state would add 1 percent to the GDP alone so it’ll be easy to get to 4 percent annual growth. Those glum bastards at the OECD saying their 2025-2026 outlook “projects global growth slowing from 3.3 percent in 2024 to 2.9 percent in both 2025 and 2026. The slowdown is expected to be most concentrated in the United States, Canada, Mexico and China, with smaller downward adjustments in other economies,” can’t just chin up and turn their forecast models’ frowns upside down.

Marshall also told Bartiromo that cutting Medicaid is going to make Medicaid stronger, which might be missing some context since they’re not *actually* cutting Medicaid, or maybe it isn’t.

“The acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was joking when he said he was not aware the US had an official hurricane season, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which houses FEMA, said in a statement,” says the lede to a Tuesday article at The Hill.

“The acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was joking when he said he was not aware the US had an official hurricane season, according to a statement from the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which houses FEMA,” says the second paragraph of the article. Not making that up, lol. Here’s a screenshot of a very likely prime example of AI slop.

“Their response comes after Reuters reported that Richardson, who has been in the position since early May, baffled employees with the sentiment at a recent briefing. The outlet said it was unclear to staff members whether the remark was meant to be taken ‘literally, as a joke, or in some other context,'” says the next paragraph, the AI engine or maybe Bangladeshi content farm laborer forgetting to include Acting FEMA Director David Richardson’s first name in the article-ish piece meant to be DHS’s response to staffers questioning his competence after the replacement for his too pro-FEMA predecessor made it clear to them he didn’t know hurricane season was a thing.

Egged on by MAGA influencers on the internet and MAGA influencers in Congress who are on the internet all the time, convicted felon President Trump has been raging in private for months at decisions by his three Supreme Court nominees, but mostly at the last one, Amy Coney Barrett, and especially over her siding against him over his freezing of $2 billion in foreign aid and recusing herself from the Oklahoma religious charter school case that ended in a 4-4 deadlock loss for the GOP, CNN reports from sources quoting the fat fuck as repeatedly calling her “weak.”

Some of Trump’s minions expressed to CNN concerns that the constant death threats, the false report of a bomb at Barrett’s sister’s house, and shit like some MAGA podcaster calling her a “rattled law professor with her head up her ass” and another saying she’s a “DEI hire” might have factored into the adverse rulings, lol. It got to the point where Trump started asking people if he should order more security for the justice, CNN writes. They do not write that he actually ordered more security.

He’s also holding back on criticizing Barrett publicly, per his allies. Those allies did not say if he plans to demand his supporters tone it down and stop threatening to murder her and her family every time she doesn’t just rule the same as Clarence and Sam. Probably because he’d never actually say that.

The Security Service of Ukraine has carried out a new, unique special operation and struck the Crimean Bridge for the third time — this time underwater!
The operation lasted several months. @ServiceSsu agents planted explosives on the supports of this illegal structure. And… pic.twitter.com/lgu6ANR3K1

— Defense of Ukraine (@DefenceU) June 3, 2025

“And today, at 4:44 am, without any civilian casualties, the first explosive device was detonated! The underwater pillars of the bridge supports were severely damaged at the seabed level – thanks to 1,100 kg of explosives in TNT equivalent. As a result, the bridge is now in critical condition,” the tweet continues after the cutoff. CNN’s reporting on the attack says that the only acknowledgement from the Russian side was them announcing that traffic on the bridge was been suspended, but by 9 AM local time they claimed it had resumed. No further context on that was added, unfortunately.

One of the last two still on the loose out of the 11 inmates who climbed out of a New Orleans jail last month says he’s being wrongly accused of escaping from the lockup, putting forward the novel defense in the court of public opinion on Monday in a now-deleted Instagram video, Fox 8 reports.

Though not as fascinating as claiming that he was framed for the crime of absconding from pretrial custody given the fundamental laws of physics being what they are and he’s either in the jailhouse or not, Antoine Massey’s assertion that he was “let out” of the joint rather than having deliberately tunneled his way out of the cell block along with 10 other men is still kind of interesting. “I’m one of the ones that was let out of Orleans Parish jail where they said I escaped, right?” said Massey in the video, going on to state that he did not actually threaten to “shank” the jail custodial staffer now accused of colluding with the escapees by shutting off the water to the toilet/sink combo the men ripped out of a cell wall to make good on their flight from justice on the night of May 16th.

Massey, whose facial tattoos depict knives or bones or something, also denied the charges that had led to his incarceration in the first place, holding up some sort of paperwork supposedly proving that his girlfriend had been beaten up by other women from the neighborhood, not him.

“In the posted video clips, Massey also called out to public figures for help, including President Donald Trump and rappers Lil Wayne and Meek Mill. He accuses the State of Louisiana of corruption, arguing he was being unfairly prosecuted and mistreated behind bars,” Fox 8 writes, lol.

Faced with a little pickle on how to defend himself against credible accusations of rampant corruption as well as interfering with corruption investigations, Guatemalan prosecutor Rafael Curruchiche thought about it a bit and came up with a real outside-the-box strategy: The UN anti-corruption mission led by Colombia’s attorney general and a former defense minister was the real corruption, therefore he could get a court to issue an arrest warrant for the two. Boss move.

Curruchiche did just that, accusing Bogota’s AG Luz Adriana Camargo Garzon and former Defense Minister Ivan Velasquez with being part of “a criminal structure led by” the former head of the UN’s anti-corruption mission, CICIG, which operated in Guatemala from 2007 to 2019, when then-President Jimmy Morales decided to not renew its mandate after his family got implicated in the kind of stuff James Comer would promise to Fox News viewers and then not deliver, the AP reports.

Specifically Curruchiche alleges that Camargo and Velasquez did the actual corruption when they cut a deal with Brazilian construction giant Odebrecht to get them to spill on a series of bribes paid to Guatemalan officials. And yeah this article’s all over the place but that’s the fucking MAGA-est thing ever, lol. “No, you guys are the corrupt ones because you turned the screws on legitimate businessmen who were just trying to cut red tape. You’re corrupt and you’re going to Guatemalan jail as soon as you surrender yourselves to arrest here in Tegucigalpa. Oh, well well well, so you’re not going to come and defend yourselves in court? Guess that means you’re guilty. Pussies.”

Thank you, Mr. President. Strong alliance with the USA, as well as partnership based on close cooperation are my top priorities. @POTUS pic.twitter.com/x8cjTQTsBi

— Karol Nawrocki (@NawrockiKn) June 3, 2025

Milwaukee prosecutors on Monday announced four felony charges against 52 year-old Demetric Scott in the case of the Trump assassination threat letter that fucking dog murdering moron Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem did exactly what Scott wanted her to do: Publicly announce the arrest of 54 year-old undocumented immigrant Ramon Morales-Reyes for writing the threat to kill convicted felon President Trump even though it should’ve been obvious from the get-go that Morales-Reyes didn’t write or send the letter considering he can barely speak English.

Per WISN, Scott on Monday confessed to investigators that he sent the letter to get Morales-Reyes deported and to prevent him from testifying against Scott over a September 2023 robbery incident. Court records show that Scott is set to go on trial next month for having kicked Morales-Reyes off his bicycle and slashed him with a sharp object before riding off with the bike. Last week investigators searched Scott’s jail cell and found a pen and paper matching the letter that was sent to the ICE facility that received the letter. It wasn’t the only one he sent either, as Milwaukee Police Chief Jeffrey Norman and Wisconsin Attorney General Josh Kaul also received similar letters.

Scott told cops he had passed them along to his mother and another acquaintance during jailhouse visits, asking them to mail the envelopes without saying what the purpose was. Scott is charged with one count each of “Misappropriate ID Info – Harm Reputation” and “Intimidate Witness/Person Charged/Felony,” and two counts of “Bail Jumping-Felony” on top of the robbery and assault.

Convicted felon President Trump’s frenemies on Wall Street are pretty obviously sick of the tariff bullshit, but have also settled on the idea that every day will be TACO Tuesday, a wealth management douchebag/podcast host tells the Washington Post in a brief newsletter bit.

“I don’t think there is an adoration of his business abilities, but, generally speaking, the investor class likes that he is there, would prefer if he did less,” said Josh Brown, CEO of Ritholtz Wealth Management and a host of “The Compound” podcast or show or whatever. “Everyone that I talk to says, ‘Can this guy just go fucking play golf?’ They like his policies, as far as deregulation, they would like the tax cuts to be extended, I just think they would like there to be less news every day.”

Brown then stated the obvious about whether the TACO thing will drive a course correction: “He’s 78 years old. Does a leopard change its spots? He has strong beliefs about tariffs, I think he likes when his pronouncements make the news and I think he likes the idea that the markets will see past the tariffs because his Big Beautiful Bill is coming and the economy is doing okay. The consensus is that the tariffs will get swallowed up inside of corporate margins and a little bit of higher prices for consumers. And that seems to be playing out. And so far, investors are just weathering it.”

NATO Has Officially ATTACKED RUSSIA In A Desperate Attempt To Stop Trumps Peace Plan

This Is TOTALLY INSANE!!

Trump MUST PULL Out Of NATO NOW!!! pic.twitter.com/NymHGfJNZx

— Alex Jones (@RealAlexJones) June 2, 2025

Yet another survey of Texas Republican primary voters finds Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton leading incumbent “RINO” Senator John Cornhole Cornyn by double digits as Punchbowl News have obtained GOP pollster UpOne Insights’ latest round putting Pax up 50 to 28 percent.

It gets worse. “Cornyn loses even more ground on an informed ballot test. In an effort to ‘fast forward’ the race among voters in our survey, voters were given a second ballot test after having them assume that A) President Trump would endorse John Cornyn; B) Paxton would attack Cornyn for his past comments on Trump, saying that Trump’s ‘time has passed him by’; and, C) Paxton would attack Cornyn for, in the past, siding with Democrats on a gun control bill. Following this information, Paxton’s lead over Cornyn widens to 62 percent – 21 percent,” says the survey.

“A Biological Male competed in California Girls State Finals, WINNING BIG, despite the fact that they were warned by me not to do so. As Gov Gavin Newscum fully understands, large scale fines will be imposed!!!” posted TACO man at 12:56 AM EDT on Tuesday, not saying who’s paying the fines.

Convicted felon President Trump’s minions have a “cooperating witness” inside not Harvard University, but Harvard Law Review, in the form of some MAGA asshole named Dan Wasserman, who joined the regime after graduating from Harvard Law… on Wednesday, the New York Times reports.

It’s complete horseshit and even the Times writes “Mr Trump’s government has repeatedly prized speed and shock value over the kind of methodical steps typically taken to build a legal case.”

A Monday report in the New York Post details a podcast interview between author Thammika Songkaeo and host Mark Millich about the failure of Songkaeo’s marriage, which she attributes solely to her ex-husband’s use of the hair-loss prevention drug Propecia, which caused serious erectile dysfunction problems and thus an empty sex life… an experience she turned into a novel titled Stamford Hospital which became the top seller on Amazon’s Singapore site, per the Post.

“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age,” Lovecraft wrote nearly a century ago, almost prescient of the utter madness of this Post article.

Like how the fuck does this even exist, lol. What the hell kind of drugs does someone need to be on to think “Hmmm, this is an interesting subject matter for a low-calorie content mill article”? Holy shit.

Anyway, not only is Millich the host of this podcast but he’s a client of the Hair Club for Men who took Propecia and had the horrific side effects, which the Post writes included “anxiety, dizziness and slurred speech. His sex drive also plummeted, and his genitals shrank and changed shape.”

Fun fact: You know who has been a Propecia user for years. Probably explains quite a lot about him.

THIS JUST POSTED BY POTUS pic.twitter.com/vJuSGgdl0O

— Mark R. Levin (@marklevinshow) June 2, 2025

Sources inside FEMA tell Reuters that the United States’ hurricane season, which runs for six months from June 1st to November 30th, the one type of natural disaster for which the agency spent more than half of all response expenditures from 1992 through 2022, is an unfamiliar concept to David Richardson, the new chief after Cameron Hamilton was canned for being too pro-FEMA.

“It was not clear to staff whether he meant it literally, as a joke, or in some other context,” Reuters writes of the reaction in the room to Richardson’s remarks. It’s not clear why FEMA staff then didn’t then test that out by asking Richardson what the plans are for dealing with an eruption of Mt Vernon in Virginia, which is showing signs of activity after being dormant since 1973, mitigating the forest fire risk to the Las Vegas Strip, or supplying snow shovels to Honolulu in case of another blizzard.

New York Lt Gov Antonio Delgado, appointed to the post by Gov Kathy Hochul after the last guy got arrested, will thank his boss by challenging her in the primary next year, the New York Times reports.

Deciding that 58 percent of the mysterious symbols built during pre-Columbian times and visible only from the sky was enough to impress the aliens they were meant to attract, Peru’s government have reduced the size of the national park containing the Nazca Lines, the AP reports.

The move now opens the portion of the barren desert wasteland up for “informal mining operations” but still supposedly complies with the UNESCO World Heritage site’s designation. Still, those partial to Giorgio Tsoukalos’s favorite spot in the country claim that the ancient wonder is imperiled.

“The reduction not only removes protections – it does so precisely where extractive activity is expanding,” said Peru’s former vice minister of the environment, Mariano Castro, adding the move “is made worse by the ministry of culture’s failure to consider the cumulative impact of dozens or even hundreds of mining operations on sensitive archaeological zones.” The Peruvian mining industry did not respond to the concerns with a statement like “we will totally stop mining when aliens show up and sign a deal to use their craft to perform laser light shows every evening at 8:00 PM. Like the fucking second they do it. We can make a lot more money charging people for parking than digging for silver with goddamned pickaxes,” though it sounds like it’d be a sweet deal for all involved.

Nobody in this brief Fox News clip directly uttered “Trump is speaking to a greater truth” or “making a larger point” or whatever mild variation in the wording of that trope you want to use. Instead it went like “Apparently Trump reposted somebody’s post on Truth Social claiming that Biden had been executed in 2020 and was replaced by a robotic clone. Uh, clearly President Trump did not believe that – hahahaha!” from Fox News anchor John Roberts, who then read the exact same description from a New York Times report for some reason and added “I know Trump’s sense of humor. I’m sure he was just trolling…? Um, what do you think?” as he turned to the blonde expert on something.

The blonde, Kaylee McGhee White, then said “Well I would hope so… It gets to the heart of the scandal which is who in the world was president for the past four years if it wasn’t Joe Biden. Was it a clone? Was it a cable [guessing the fucking idiot meant ‘cabal’] of White House officials?”